Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It’s easier to prevent than to cure.
However
, executive representatives of the governing body globally put expenses on curing disorders firsthand and not sufficient on
health
education and impediment of the diseases. I totally agree with
this
statement and in body
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
I’ll explain my take on
this
.
To begin
with, education is a tool
that is
essential in people’s life. It gives us an opportunity to impede a lot of bad consequences of everything. And while
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is busy wasting money on
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
and
mistreat
Wrong verb form
mistreating
show examples
health
education we’ll see a society that keeps on consuming fast food and is unaware of elementary skills
realted
Correct your spelling
related
to
health
. But
this
can be figured out due to
health
-promoting ads that encourage healthy lifestyles and hinder unhealthy patterns
such
as obesity.
This
is one way to have a well-brought-up society and it will gradually result in
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
ilnesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
soo there won’t be
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
to waste money on them. They say that demand creates supply, but I guess it’s vice versa. If we are represented with
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
products we will consume that. So the government is better to start taking care
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
increasing supply, in
this
case
Add the comma(s)
,case
show examples
the demand will be of high quality. When it comes to
health
issues
such
as AIDS, Hepatitis C virus and a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
other ones, we again notice the lack of information among people.
Although
a lot of NGOs take care of preventing these issues
organizing
Change preposition
by organizing
show examples
workshops or study sessions in schools, the government should
also
be actively involved in
this
. To sum up, there are plenty of ways to do so that the number of illnesses will decrease and people will become more self-aware.
Thus
first
and foremost problem to be solved will become teaching people properly.
Submitted by Sofia-Haykuhi on

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