Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that rich nations should allow more
refugees
in their country and help them with their basic needs. This
essay completely agrees with this
statement because they have enough money and they can offer better opportunities for them.
Wealthy countries often do humanitarian works
all over the world because they have enough wealth to do so. They work with Fix the agreement mistake
work
United
Nations in order to send aid Correct article usage
the United
in
developing and war-zone countries. Change preposition
to
Thus
, opening their doors to refugees
will not cause them any financial restrain
. They can assist them with their basic needs, Replace the word
restraint
such
as food and housing. For instance
, the war between Gaza and Israel left thousands of people homeless and now residing in refugee camps. However
, some aids
was not able to reach Fix the agreement mistake
aid
refugees
due to
bombings. If they open their doors to them, the refugees
will be able to directly receive those aids.
In addition
to that, they can give them an opportunity to work and have access to better
education. There are many work opportunities in rich countries. They give eligible candidates Correct article usage
a better
opportunity
to excel, regardless of their educational background and nationality. Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
For instance
, in the US people do not need a college degree in order to land a managerial job as long as the person is hardworking and possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
qualities
of a good manager. Correct article usage
the qualities
Moreoever
, Correct your spelling
Moreover
refugee's
children will Change noun form
refugee
also
receive quality education in
which they will not get in their home country. Change preposition
apply
For example
, they will have access to computer and science laboratories.
In conclusion, rich nations are more eligible to help refugees
because they have enough resources and they can give them opportunity
to have a better future.Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
Submitted by yoko.onerom on
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task achievement
In order to improve in task response, ensure that you completely address the prompt and that your arguments are fully developed. Consider presenting multiple perspectives and more in-depth analysis to enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
For enhancing coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically and smoothly. Utilize a variety of transition words and phrases to better link ideas within and between paragraphs. Strive for a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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