Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that rich nations should allow more
refugees
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their country and help them with their basic needs.
This
Linking Words

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essay completely agrees with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement because they have enough money and they can offer better opportunities for them. Wealthy countries often do humanitarian
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work

It seems that works may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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all over the world because they have enough wealth to do so. They work with
United
Correct article usage
the United

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Nations in order to send aid
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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developing and war-zone countries.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, opening their doors to
refugees
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will not cause them any financial
restrain
Replace the word
restraint

The word restrain doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. They can assist them with their basic needs,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as food and housing.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the war between Gaza and Israel left thousands of people homeless and now residing in refugee camps.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid

It seems that aids may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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was not able to reach
refugees
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

bombings. If they open their doors to them, the
refugees
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be able to directly receive those aids.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to that, they can give them an opportunity to work and have access to
better
Correct article usage
a better

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education. There are many work opportunities in rich countries. They give eligible candidates
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity

The noun phrase opportunity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to excel, regardless of their educational background and nationality.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the US people do not need a college degree in order to land a managerial job as long as the person is hardworking and
possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses

It seems that the verb possess does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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qualities
Correct article usage
the qualities

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of a good manager.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover

If you don’t want Moreoever to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
refugee's
Change noun form
refugee

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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children will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

receive quality education
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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which they will not get in their home country.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will have access to computer and science laboratories. In conclusion, rich nations are more eligible to help
refugees
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they have enough resources and they can give them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity

The noun phrase opportunity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to have a better future.
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task achievement
In order to improve in task response, ensure that you completely address the prompt and that your arguments are fully developed. Consider presenting multiple perspectives and more in-depth analysis to enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
For enhancing coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically and smoothly. Utilize a variety of transition words and phrases to better link ideas within and between paragraphs. Strive for a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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