Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that rich nations should allow more
refugees
in their country and help them with their basic needs.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement because they have enough money and they can offer better opportunities for them. Wealthy countries often do humanitarian
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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all over the world because they have enough wealth to do so. They work with
United
Correct article usage
the United
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Nations in order to send aid
in
Change preposition
to
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developing and war-zone countries.
Thus
, opening their doors to
refugees
will not cause them any financial
restrain
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restraint
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. They can assist them with their basic needs,
such
as food and housing.
For instance
, the war between Gaza and Israel left thousands of people homeless and now residing in refugee camps.
However
, some
aids
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aid
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was not able to reach
refugees
due to
bombings. If they open their doors to them, the
refugees
will be able to directly receive those aids.
In addition
to that, they can give them an opportunity to work and have access to
better
Correct article usage
a better
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education. There are many work opportunities in rich countries. They give eligible candidates
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to excel, regardless of their educational background and nationality.
For instance
, in the US people do not need a college degree in order to land a managerial job as long as the person is hardworking and
possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
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qualities
Correct article usage
the qualities
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of a good manager.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
refugee's
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refugee
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children will
also
receive quality education
in
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apply
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which they will not get in their home country.
For example
, they will have access to computer and science laboratories. In conclusion, rich nations are more eligible to help
refugees
because they have enough resources and they can give them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to have a better future.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
For enhancing coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically and smoothly. Utilize a variety of transition words and phrases to better link ideas within and between paragraphs. Strive for a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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