IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people are using computers and other electronic devices to access information. Therefore, there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is increasingly common these days for
people
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 to access
information
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 via electronic devices
such
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 as smartphones and personal computers.
However
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, I do not think
this
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 trend would mean that publishing physical reading materials is no longer necessary. Apparently, gaining
information
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 digitally has advantages over conventional ways, especially in its timelessness. With a particular
news
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 application on their phones,
people
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 can be informed of an earthquake that happened in a region thousands of miles away within several minutes. But those who only read newspapers will know about
this
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 natural disaster tomorrow morning because it normally takes hours to publish printed newspapers. In
this
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 sense, gaining
information
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 via electronic devices enjoys high efficiency and
therefore
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 helps
people
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 make better decisions in business and daily life alike. That’s why many
news
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 applications and websites have gained ever-increasing popularity with the prevalence of electronic gadgets. Despite digital
information
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 being incredibly time-efficient, I do not believe
such
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 a benefit can deny the necessity and irreplaceability of traditional mediums. The main reason is that these mediums have strong reliability in the
information
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 they provide. More specifically, the traditional press industry typically involves professional journalists and writers
as well as
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 responsible editors. These professionals can ensure that the
news
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 stories in newspapers are true and statistics printed in journal articles are highly reliable. The quality of
information
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 online is questioned,
however
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. As revealed in many surveys, social media sites have become a common way for young
people
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 to access the latest
information
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 across the globe, but some
news
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 that aroused public attention and is reposted millions of times
finally
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 proved to be fake. In conclusion, based on the points made above, my conviction is that
while
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 obtaining
information
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 by digital devices is more time-efficient, it cannot replace traditional mediums where
information
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 of high quality and reliability can be ensured.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good. However, make sure to briefly mention the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences. Providing a bit more explanation or examples would help develop your points further.
task achievement
In your conclusion, you summarize your points well, but consider adding a sentence that restates your main opinion to make it stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opinion and structure, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, showing good knowledge of the topic.
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