Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #music #form #entertainment #whilst #impact #society

Music

has become a huge part of people’s daily life, some agree that

music

brings bigger influence to the public than ever before, yet some argue that

music

is mere amusement. To my mind,

music

is more than just entertainment, it is

also

beneficial to society. On one hand, different types of

music

are created for people’s amusement, the audience can listen to it on the go, or in a live concert. It is a common perspective that

music

can make people feel

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and delighted when they are enjoying the type of

music

they prefer.

For example

, people go to concerts by their favourite

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

However

, though all of

this

is found to be enjoyable by most, everyone has their preferences and opinions.

Therefore

some see

music

as nothing but entertainment.

On the other hand

, multiple

science

Replace the word

scientific

show examples

research

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

proven that

music

can help people dealing with neurogenic disorders

such

as dementia.

Music

therapy can

envoke

Correct your spelling

evoke

show examples

meaningful memories of their own,

likewise

music

can be used to help them remain calm and reduce their level of anxiety and depression. On top of that, learning

music

Replace the word

musical

show examples

instruments can be beneficial to brain development at

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age.

For instance

, multitasking can be learned when practising a musical instrument, it is crucial to pay attention while playing the note of the song and focus on the movement of the upper limbs.

As a result

music

is beneficial to mature brains, as well as younger ones. In conclusion,

music

is not just

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment but

also

contributing

Wrong verb form

contributes

show examples

to our brain health and development.

Submitted by s.tenebres on Tue Apr 19 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people use social media to keep in touch with each other every day. Do you think the advantages of such communication outweigh disadvantages?

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Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund?

In some high schools part of the curriculum requires students to participate in community work such as helping the elderly or disabled. In what way do children get benefits from this? Do you think it should be part of the curriculum?

Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students. Others believe that higher education should be available only to good students. Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with? Explain why