IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have seen an advertisement for a part time job welcoming visitors to your town. Write to the recruiters. In your letter •Explain why you want the job •Describe why you would be a good person for the role •Describe any relevant experience you may have

#advertisement #part #time #job #visitors #town #recruiters #•explain #•describe #person #role
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Dear BT manager, I am writing to apply for a part-time job about welcoming visitors. I would like to get
this
 job as follows an advertisement on the website which is suitable for my ability and interest. I strongly believe to have a good role in
this
 position by introducing our culture to new visitors.
Firstly
, I felt interested in your advertisement descriptions because I like to meet and communicate with a group of people, especially visitors.
Furthermore
, I am a freelancer working for The Women’s Homeless non-profit community and I think I could meet your time requirements for
this
 role and be able to have an outing if needed.
In addition
, I have earned a certificate of tour guide in the short term for The Mekong Delta culture which helped me to
further
 introduce our traditional local effectively.
Moreover
, I used to contact and make connections between people for my current job so I think these are relevant to the person who seeking. I am looking forward to receiving your reply soon. Yours faithfully My My
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the task are covered fully and explicitly, such as clearly explaining why you want the job, which could be elaborated more specifically. Relate your skills and experience more directly to the job description.
task achievement
Maintain a suitable writing tone by paying attention to the level of formality required. While your letter is mostly appropriate, avoid overly casual phrases that might detract from the professional feel.
coherence cohesion
Organize the content more logically by using clear paragraphing, with each paragraph containing a distinct idea. Ensure connections between ideas are evident through the use of linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Use appropriate greetings and sign-offs for formal letters. Although you have done this, the body of the letter must be consistent with this level of formality throughout.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, with the second paragraph currently containing multiple points. Consider breaking it into separate paragraphs for clarity and emphasis on each point.
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