IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development
People tend to communicate with each other online
instead
 of in person. In my opinion,
this
 is a negative development
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can lead to isolation and misunderstanding between individuals. One serious problem that can arise from society using gadgets to socialise with each other is that it can lead to isolation. With
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, individuals choose to chat online rather than meet their friends,
for example
, in bars, parks or
cinema
Fix the agreement mistake
cinemas
show examples
.
As a result
, they can feel anxious when talking to others
face
 to
face
, because they spend most of their time apart from society. To illustrate
this
, my cousin is fond of new innovations, and he talks to others only on the phone, because of
this
, he feels shy, when he meets someone in real life. Isolation of
this
 kind is not healthy and can sometimes lead to different issues. Another issue is that we can not show our real emotions through messages.
In
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
 can cause a misunderstanding in communication.
For instance
, when we send some emails, someone can not know with which emotions we do it. They can only make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
assumptions.
Therefore
 , meeting
face
 to
face
 is the best way of communication, you can easily share your thoughts and feelings. In conclusion,
although
 it has become more popular for everyone to socialise through the internet, it has brought about too many problems for
this
 to be considered a positive trend.
Submitted by vikaperehinets5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • online interactions
  • virtual communication
  • global community
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital divide
  • cyberspace
  • virtual presence
  • social networking
  • mental wellbeing
  • digital literacy
  • safe spaces
  • marginalized groups
  • face-to-face communication
  • socialisation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: