some people think that schools are no longer necessary because people can acquire information on the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Schools are the best place to gain
education
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an education
show examples
but few people think that
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
they are not mandatory as people can gain knowledge from the internet.
However
, I strongly believe that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
or any other source of technology cannot replace the
role
of schools in imparting
education
. School plays a very crucial
role
in
students
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students'
student's
show examples
life. It does not only provide knowledge but helps in
overall
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the overall
show examples
growth of an individual
such
as mental, physical and social . Its curriculum does not only include teaching but other
then
Correct your spelling
than
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this
a student can learn many activities
such
as sports , art and craft and music.
Multidsciplinary
Correct your spelling
Multidisciplinary
things are taught in the school by the mentors
such
as good behaviour, discipline and social bonding. So,
this
institution serves in
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
development of kids who are the building blocks of our society and nation.
However
, undoubtedly in
this
era of technology,
Add an article
the
show examples
internet plays a vital
role
in giving information and knowledge.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
a good resource
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
education
for example
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
are
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of virtual books available on different websites, which are not affordable
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
everyone so,
this
platform gives
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easy access for
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of people to acquire information. But
on the other hand
, more screen time means deterioration of health
such
as visual impairment, behaviour changes,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
less outdoor activities making an individual more
introvert
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introverted
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. So, in
conclusion
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,conclusion
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would say that none of the technologies can replace the
role
of school in imparting
education
and enhancing
growth
Add an article
the growth
show examples
of an individual whether it is mental, social or
pshycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
.
Submitted by drvishal13 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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