The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compare to the past due to advanced technologies which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #technologies

this

present

world

Add a comma

,world

show examples

criminal incidents seem declined more than ever. Even supermarkets, streets and grocery stores have

technology

such

as CCTV cameras to record any situations. But it

is disagreed

Change to the active voice

disagrees

has disagreed

show examples

that

technologies

can totally prevent

crime

. Analysing the news, that still has violence incidents every single day.

First

, the development of

technologies

assists our life to be savers but it does not mean these able to stop starving people from stealing

a food

Remove the article

food

a portion of food

show examples

For instance

, a supermarket has the securities cameras around the store and a thief can go inside and grab some mike,

then

walk away. Sadly, these cameras can only record footage but they can not solve crimes.

Therefore

this

expresses how

technologies

can help us but can not stop

crime

Second

, nowadays social network is one of the most famous

technology

, we can create social media group in order to warn people to avoid

area

Add an article

the area

an area

show examples

that has a high

crime

rate.

For example

, a Facebook page announced and reported about a nightclub that has sexual harassment in theirs.

This

means the criminal incident already happened.

Thus

technologies

will never solve the

crime

they can only help us to refuse incoming

crime

in the same situation. In conclusion, I recognize

this

current day is better than the past, because of

technology

However

, It looks like we effort to solve the problem at the leaves ,not from the roots,

this

means the

crime

will not

decreased

Wrong verb form

decrease

show examples

cause of

technology

but it will fall down

Change preposition

show examples

individuals.

Submitted by phuchanate on Tue Apr 19 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compare to the past due to advanced technologies which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

it is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercise. what are the causes and solutions

Some species of animal are almost extinct and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reason for this?

Millions of people move to English speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answers