IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that parents have the most significant influence in a child's development. However, other say that things like television or friends have the must important influence on them. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #influence #child #development #television #friends
Some people believe that parents have the highest
influence
 on a
child
's
development
. It is
also
 believed by others that their
friends
 or
television
 have an even higher
influence
 on them. Anyway, both parties are not wrong. There are many factors that play an important role in the
development
 of a
child
.
For example
, parents will affect their kids' behaviour from their birth. They will learn how to behave at home and in public over the
first
 years of their lives. So, it can be said that relatives have the most significant
influence
 in the
first
 five or six years of the
child
 but, when they go to kindergarten or preschool, the teacher or
friends
 might change them. Once, the kids go to kindergarten, preschool or school, they will
also
 learn from their teachers about life. At
this
 age, they will start to watch different
television
 shows than before, which can
also
 have a different
influence
 on the
further
development
 of children.
Furthermore
, they will get some
friends
 in school, which can change their minds about living as well as
television
, computer games, or teachers and parents. In conclusion, I don't agree with both of those arguments. In my opinion, it is impossible to say who has the most important
influence
 on your
child
's
development
. I think it is more in the kids' hands to go the right or the wrong way of life. It depends on their
friends
, teachers, the
television
 shows they watched and most of all on their own minds and decisions.
Submitted by korbinian.schoerghuber on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: