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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
The question of whether knowledgeable people have to
work
 in their training country is widely debated, with some people claiming that they should be free to choose their workplace. There are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss
further
. Regarding proponents of the idea that
professionals
 should
work
 in the country where they received their education, the primary reason is that the government allocates a huge budget for student training and expenditure.
For instance
, the government pays professors' and teachers' salaries, constructs schools and universities, and
also
 supplies funding for equipping facilities
such
 as libraries, laboratories, and books for students. Another supporting idea is that
society
 needs these skilled individuals to serve their communities and help improve societal conditions with their knowledge. Turning to the opponents of
this
 idea, they argue that the success achieved by
professionals
 depends on their efforts and hard
work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that they do not owe anything to the government or
society
.
Moreover
, some of them have paid tuition without receiving any funds or scholarships.
In addition
, many opponents believe that experienced individuals need to be rewarded based on their skills and talents, and if a
society
 cannot provide these conditions,
professionals
 should be free to choose better opportunities
elsewhere
.
For example
, if a job abroad aligns with their expertise and offers better conditions compared to available careers in their home country, they should be allowed to pursue it. In conclusion, I believe that
professionals
 should have the opportunity to choose where they want to
work
, as long as their decision does not have a detrimental effect on
society
.
Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable logical structure, but could benefit greatly from clearer paragraphing and more precise topic sentences to link points directly to the question. Including a wider range of cohesive devices may also improve the flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task, though development is needed to completely satisfy the requirements of the prompt. Aim to present fully expanded ideas and integrate specific, relevant examples consistently throughout to substantiate arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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