Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #value #parks #space #purpose #areas #population #business #economics

It is thought by a selection of individuals that valuable green

spaces

in many community areas should be demolished and replaced by accommodation and facilities for business to improve the economy

due to

an influx of people in some cities. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with

this

notion and my supportive reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.

To begin

with, public

parks

provide residents in those areas with tons of benefits and one of the most significant is to reduce pollution. To elaborate

further

, a lot of trees are grown in these

parks

contributing to reducing the amount of CO2 in the air.

Moreover

, the

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

buildings and people in communities, the less amount of waste and debris is littered and

thus

we still have nice and pleasant

spaces

to use. To specifically demonstrate, there was a time in my city

that

Correct word choice

when

show examples

authorities tried to obliterate our

parks

and intended to construct a new apartment.

However

, a couple of researchers living in my city showed and presented that the amount of CO2 and garbage would dramatically shoot up to the level that would harm residents badly and

therefore

the authorities had a big change of heart and cancelled the development plan.

Additionally

, another clear upside of public

parks

is that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be used to improve our health. To explain in greater detail, individuals can use these

spaces

to communicate and socialise with each other, making a tight and fond connection.

Furthermore

, there are several people using green

spaces

doing exercises and workouts in order to keep them fit and stay in shape. An apt illustration of

this

is that my father always spends his morning doing regular routine workouts, specifically, running which in turn keeps him as fit as a fiddle and hardly catches illnesses.

In addition

, he has made a number of friends since the first time he went to that park, spending quality time with them. All in all, it is undeniable that there are some individuals

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

want to replace public

spaces

with residential areas and companies. From my point of view, I disagree with

this

idea as these

parks

are the solution

Change preposition

show examples

pollution in communities

as well as

offer us a sense of well-being, keeping us healthy.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Sat Jun 01 2024

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task achievement

While your essay clearly disagrees with replacing public parks with residential and business areas, make sure you also address the opposing viewpoint in more detail. This can strengthen your argument by showing that you have considered multiple perspectives.

coherence cohesion

To further enhance coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect paragraphs and ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

task achievement

You provide comprehensive and clear ideas to support your stance, backed up with relevant and specific examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a high level of coherence, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next, making your argument easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

380 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

many people think that the world should speak one language, others argue that countries should have its own languages. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects . Other people think that, in today's world , subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep. what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?