IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some countries pay extremely high salaries to people. Some people believe that the country must not do that and make a limit for the salaries. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #salaries #people #country #limit
In the times of today ,there are high-paid jobs in the market . Some tend to take a standing government should impose upper limits on higher-paid jobs. I completely disagree with the stance and
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 enunciate vivid reasons for the same in the discourse ahead followed by my opinion. Higher post designation leads to higher pay.
Firstly
, high pay to the higher position employees is actually beneficial. In recent years, pay differences between activity levels increased.
Also
, the value of getting a promotion rises. In ,addition a person who has a certain level of skills or immense power of mind easily gets a big salary annual package. Salary differences in business levels create a race between employees. Eventually, employees do their best to get promotions and higher pay.
Moreover
, workers become more focused on their work and indirectly companies'
overall
 productivity is rising. All
in
Correct pronoun usage
in all
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 ,all
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 would feel motivated when
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 one level up. After all, motivated workers are given an outstanding performance
Secondly
, higher executives and CEOs have higher responsibility in
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society or
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
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.
Also
, individuals who get higher posts they responsible for any action in the group. If all the upper-level executives are making any rules or making any changes in the club process
then
 it definitely affects the
overall
 league's profile and tribe profits.
For instance
, one well-known Indian club is CCD. After many years of financial struggle club’s director decided to change the core members of the party. Eventually, CCD became the second-largest
coffee making
Add a hyphen
coffee-making
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 corporation in India. All in , if individuals feel motivated toward the community
then
 over time party becomes more productive. In conclusion, high pay to higher executives is actually beneficial.
Also
, their responsibility and
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
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 lead to a major impact on any team or organization. The pay difference between post levels is eventually beneficial.
Submitted by smitnakrani24990 on

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Task Achievement
The essay adequately addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion on the topic. The main points are well-explained and supported with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains good coherence and cohesion. The ideas are logically organized, and transitions between paragraphs are smooth. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic inequality
  • civil unrest
  • motivation
  • productivity
  • brain drain
  • standard of living
  • societal well-being
  • tax revenues
  • public services
  • infrastructure
  • economic growth
  • consumer spending
  • meritocratic society
  • barrier to entry
  • diversity
  • innovation
What to do next:
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