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Band 5

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
Nowadays, going to another
country
 for the holidays has become a common practice.
Nevertheless
, it is believed that
this
 is rather harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
country
 travelled to. From my perspective,
tourism
 to another
country
 is beneficial for both sides, as the
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
show examples
 gets lifetime experience and memories, as the opportunity to relax, while
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 receives financial aid. To start with, travelling can be very enjoyable as well as beneficial for
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
. The anxiety and stress accumulated from the job and study can vanish during a long journey. Not only
this
,
tourism
 gives the person the opportunity to meet different people, see and interact with
diversity
Add an article
a diversity
the diversity
show examples
 of cultures, gain a lot of new friends and, of course, it leaves amazing lifetime memories. According to
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
of
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by
show examples
 Amit Kumar, travelling makes you happy in another way. As he said, experiential purchase brings more happiness than material purchase.
Moreover
, travelling and
tourism
 are beneficial for
countries
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a financial perspective. For
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous amount of
countries
, even the well-developed ones,
tourism
 is the main income source,
also
, functioning as an advertising tool for the interests of the local people.
For instance
, France has gained over 18 billion US dollars from
tourism
 in 2018, which is historically the most amount in
countries
Add an article
the countries
show examples
 history. Other
countries
,
such
 as
Maldives
Correct article usage
the Maldives
show examples
, can even be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourism dependent
Add a hyphen
tourism-dependent
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, as their major source
income
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of income
show examples
 is from tourist expenses. In conclusion, travelling is profitable in many ways for both sides.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
countries
 some
countries
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
Maldives
Correct article usage
the Maldives
show examples
 exist
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thanks to
this
 industry,
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
 it is a lifetime experience for one person.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
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