IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
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Nowadays, going to another
country
Use synonyms
 for the holidays has become a common practice.
Nevertheless
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, it is believed that
this
Linking Words
 is rather harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
country
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 travelled to. From my perspective,
tourism
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 to another
country
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 is beneficial for both sides, as the
traveler
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traveller
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 gets lifetime experience and memories, as the opportunity to relax, while
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 receives financial aid. To start with, travelling can be very enjoyable as well as beneficial for
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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. The anxiety and stress accumulated from the job and study can vanish during a long journey. Not only
this
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,
tourism
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 gives the person the opportunity to meet different people, see and interact with
diversity
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a diversity
the diversity
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 of cultures, gain a lot of new friends and, of course, it leaves amazing lifetime memories. According to
study
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the study
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of
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by
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 Amit Kumar, travelling makes you happy in another way. As he said, experiential purchase brings more happiness than material purchase.
Moreover
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, travelling and
tourism
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 are beneficial for
countries
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in
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from
show examples
 a financial perspective. For
a
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous amount of
countries
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, even the well-developed ones,
tourism
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 is the main income source,
also
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, functioning as an advertising tool for the interests of the local people.
For instance
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, France has gained over 18 billion US dollars from
tourism
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 in 2018, which is historically the most amount in
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countries
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the countries
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 history. Other
countries
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,
such
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 as
Maldives
Correct article usage
the Maldives
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, can even be considered
as
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
tourism dependent
Add a hyphen
tourism-dependent
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Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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, as their major source
income
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of income
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 is from tourist expenses. In conclusion, travelling is profitable in many ways for both sides.
From
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On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,
countries
Use synonyms
 some
countries
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as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
Maldives
Correct article usage
the Maldives
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 exist
from
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apply
show examples
thanks to
this
Linking Words
 industry,
from
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on
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
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 it is a lifetime experience for one person.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
What to do next:
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