IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Increasing average weight is happening in some nations. On the hand, the health and physical abilities of the population are decreased. It is wondered about the roots and how we can solve the problems. There are several causes that create the situation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will substantiate the causes and their solutions in the paragraphs below.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one possible root is that
people
Use synonyms
 tend to consume more unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 especially fast-
food
Use synonyms
. It is easier to access detrimental
food
Use synonyms
 rather than healthy
food
Use synonyms
 due to the time-efficient when we order and the existence of fast-
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants everywhere.
For instance
Linking Words
, my niece often goes to KFC because it locates nearby her house.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 avoid doing outdoor activities because of coronavirus pandemics. There is
less
Add an article
a less
show examples
 physical movement among the crowds.
its
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 affects the health of
people
Use synonyms
 and increases the chance of an ailment. To tackle them, the government should do more public advertising about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy meals to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to have good behaviour. It should public not only on television but
also
Linking Words
 on social media. The
second
Linking Words
 possible solution is that the government should control the healthy foodstuff prices including ingredients and packages.
For example
Linking Words
, most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian restaurants in Thailand have an average high price per dish than neutral
food
Use synonyms
. In a nutshell, the addressed causes and solutions have been mentioned in the above paragraphs. All the solutions should be applied to reduce the risk of sickness among societies due to weight increase. In the future, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who take care of themself might be expanded.
Submitted by sarawanee.ph on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: