IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In some countries, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Do you see it as a positive or negative trend?

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These days, the trend which is really common among global communities is that they prefer to live individually. In my personal view,
this
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 is an adverse fashion on account of the fact that it impacts mental health and the economy. On the one hand, the fact
that is
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 really important is that living alone has several benefits for themselves in making decisions and working.
However
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, it leads to feeling lonely and isolated, which has a negative effect on their mental health inasmuch as humans like wild animals are really social creatures.
For instance
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, in Japan, which is a developing country, most people live alone, but the rate of mental problems in
this
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 country is too many.
On the other hand
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, when populations like to live by themself,
then
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 they have to invest a lot of money in everything.
As a result
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, they lead to financial starin'
due to
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 the fact that sharing costs are not available.
for example
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, if you live individually, you should pay the rent of the house, the charge of the utilities, the cost of the fixing and so forth with yourself.
Whereas
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, living with two or more peers creates a chance to share the spending with each other.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, living with no one has some advantages for communities to do their work and make a decision really fast.
Nevertheless
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, we have to think about the factors that the level of society's mental health and the economic impact that people have are more essential.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on how living alone impacts mental health and the economy directly. For instance, provide data or research findings if possible, which illustrate the correlation between living alone and mental health issues or economic strain.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitions to link your ideas and sentences for a smoother flow. This will help your essay maintain clarity and coherence throughout.
structure
Your essay presents clear parts of introduction, body, and conclusion which make your structure easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support the points made about mental health and financial implications, enhancing the task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt by evaluating both the advantages and disadvantages of the trend to live alone.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • self-discovery
  • self-reliance
  • isolation
  • mental health
  • economic implications
  • financial strain
  • individualism
  • cultural shifts
  • traditional family structures
  • housing demand
  • urban development
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