IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality
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Some people say that being a celebrity could
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 issues as well as benefits
for
Change preposition
on
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 its own. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will provide some pros and contras for someone who wants to be a star and
in addition
Linking Words
, I will confirm why being a standard
person
Use synonyms
 is better rather than
famous
Add a missing verb
being famous
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. In one scenario, is it possible to think that
being
Change the form of the verb
is
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 known for multiple humans, has as result the possibility of leaving a legacy
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 As a consequence, a star could use its own power to change
others
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others'
other's
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 life and to help them
being
Change the form of the verb
be
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 better, which
implicates
Replace the word
implies
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 it must be a
person
Use synonyms
 who
inspire
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inspires
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 others.
However
Linking Words
, has an
imply
Change the form of the verb
implied
show examples
 obligation
Change preposition
to
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of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
obtain
Change the verb form
obtaining
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 something in change, like
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 personal reward for their good actions. To give an example, the new trend of being
influencer
Add an article
an influencer
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 shows that someone with 100,000 followers can plant trees or create a
campain
Correct your spelling
campaign
 to give a home
for
Change preposition
to
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 a homeless
person
Use synonyms
, whereas it could be followed by 2,000 people more. One card for another.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, despite the benefits
sound
Wrong verb form
sounding
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 astonishing, being famous carries the possibility of privacy invasion. It means that people
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
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 think that all
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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public information as well as the personal one, must be shared with others but it is not like that.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some personal details that should not be shared with anyone, just with their relatives and if they are published, probably It would impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 mental health and its personal life. To summarize, if we put
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a tantamount
these
Change preposition
of these
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 panoramas, the prize that a personality must pay for being famous,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is higher
comparing
Change the form of the verb
compared
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with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the benefits that it can obtain from it. As it is, the option of
occupied
Wrong verb form
occupying
show examples
 the role of a normal
person
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
does not look so bad at all.
Submitted by tatianaonzaga on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
What to do next:
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