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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
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The first graph displays the percentages of
households
Use synonyms
 that owned electrical appliances in one country from 1920 to 2019,
while
Linking Words
 the
second
Linking Words
 graph illustrates how much time
households
Use synonyms
 in that country spent doing housework during the same period.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the ownership of all three
type
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types
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electrical
Change preposition
of electrical
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 appliances in
Add an article
the household
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household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 increased during
this
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 period, with that
of
Change preposition
apply
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refrigerators having the greatest growth. At the same time, the amount
of
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apply
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spent on housework decreased. Looking at the graphs more closely, one can see that the proportion of
households
Use synonyms
 with
Add an article
the refrigerator
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refrigerator
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refrigerators
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 was nearly 0% in 1920, but after that time the figure increased rapidly and eventually reached 100% in 1980.
Along
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with
Correct pronoun usage
thiswith
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, the ownership of vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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also
Linking Words
 increased gradually and
finally
Linking Words
 reached 100% in 2000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of owning washing machines in
households
Use synonyms
 was the highest among three electrical devices in 1920, but in 2019, it was the lowest percentage.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, the number of hours doing housework per week fell significantly from 50 to 15 hours between 1920 and 1980. After that, it slightly fell to around 10 hours in 2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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