Some people think that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health To what extent do you agree or disagree
People seem to think that, during studying at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
teachers
are unwilling to give a lesson to their pupils so that they can keep fit and healthy. In my view, it seems to be false, because there are schools where well-qualified teachers
learn looking
after Change the verb form
to look
the
health Correct article usage
apply
as well as
solving
mathematical problems. Wrong verb form
solve
In addition
, school education can't be fulfilled without giving the proper concentration for
health and scarcity of knowing the Change preposition
on
benefit
of good Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
organism
.
As soon as Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
teachers
are improving
their pedagogical qualifications, they will study how to cope with basic life issues including being healthy. At Wrong verb form
improve
first,
He can't seem to be an ideal teacher until he can't explain all the necessary things which are urgently needed for pupils to know and maintain. Actually, a teacher is the second parent who struct them with knowledge, manner, ideology and good health. For
this
reason,many modern schools oblige employees to take some courses which are about treating common diseases, for instance
, treating sore throat.
Furthermore
, knowledge about processes in a human's body leads to realizing how to be healthy. Consequently
, Biology is an important subject that allows students to be aware of how to preserve different diseases. For example
, biology explains why it is significant to control individuals' bp
because ,at times of high or low blood pressure, our digestion process gets attracted. Correct your spelling
BP
Thus
, during biology classes, young people can understand how to be healthy.
To summarize, it is teachers
, who finished
additional courses, that provide students with the routine of life which is the root of becoming healthy. Wrong verb form
finish
Lastly
, school educational subjects' knowledge protects them from viruses and after attracting them it is known to them to get rid of harm.Submitted by M.L.A on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph follows a logical sequence and connects effectively to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly present your opinion, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
task achievement
Ensure your examples and arguments directly support your main points and are relevant to the topic. Include more specific details to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
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