IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The quality of life in big cities is decreasing. What are the causes and what actions should be taken to solve this problem?

#quality #life #cities #actions
Firstly
, the huge living cost is a driving force
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the reduction in living quality. The price level in big cities is
relative
Replace the word
relatively
show examples
 high compared with
rural
Add an article
the rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
thus
 people hard to consume more.
In addition
,
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 is the result of
busy
Add an article
a busy
show examples
life
. Workers have a huge number of task need to deal
every
Change preposition
with every
show examples
 day, which cause
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 seldom have free time to relax.
Moreover
, bad living habits
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a major attributed to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 quality.
For example
, too much junk food eaten by citizens may cause
Correct your spelling
human-beings
human beings
Correct your spelling
human beings’
show examples
human-beings’
Change noun form
human-beings
show examples
 healthy
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
then
this
 would
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 daily
life
.
Too
Replace the word
To
show examples
 tackle these problems,here are various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
solutions. At
first
, giving
subsidy
Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
show examples
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 is a good way to increase citizens’ living quality.
Then
, people can save more money or they can buy more consumer goods.
Additionally
, giving
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 to relaxing during the time off work can
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the living standard significantly.
For example
, individuals can go camping with
Add an article
a workmate
show examples
workmate
Fix the agreement mistake
workmates
show examples
 to escape from hustle and bustle
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the weekends.
Moreover
, increasing the advertisements
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
 can correct people’s
dietaryhabit
Correct your spelling
dietary habits
dietary habit
. If people have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 body, they could have more energy
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 work and
life
.
Submitted by 59213142 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: