It is suggested that all the young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the community and the young people
Based on the benefits that working in various communities in societies can be bestowed to the juvenile,it is suggested that they should get involved with these affairs without any salaries.
Although
its associated dire consequences should not be ignored,its positive footprints surpass in divergent aspects.However
,different sides are uttered here.
One of the most highlighted advantages of working with communities has to do with the capabilities that adolescents would attain during these periods,which not only broaden their horizons regarding the world but make them also
qualified to grasp the job vacancies that are provided,owing to the experiences that they used to acquire by contributing to those activities.For instance
,a nurse will have the opportunity to enhance their practical capacities by taking care of elderlies.Furthermore
,due to
the communications that take place between youngsters and others,both their social linkages and as well
social interactions would undergo drastic changes for the better.As a vivid case,either their acquaintances or the approaches to influencing other people that they have learned from them can be utilized as a tool for persuading an employer to recruit them.
Rephrase
apply
On the other hand
,some detrimental impressions may be imprinted on the nerves of individuals,who are obliged to participate in functions without any suitable cash in exchange for their efforts.To illustrate,based on research,folks would be encouraged to take place in activities if they can make money,quite contrary are reluctant when there is no praise for them.Moreover
,it can be a radix behind increasing the rate of crimes.To enlighten,humans are attracted to stealing things or other lawbreaking activities if they are under the tension of financial issues.Therefore
, they may be appealed to abuse their responsibility to compensate for their played roles,such
as stealing others' money.
To conclude
, some affirmative results are interwoven with compulsory functions of juveniles in communities,like fortifying their professional capabilities,which surpass the side effects,namely financial problems if there is no time for other money-making functions.Nevertheless
,these probable negative aspects could be resolved if this
participation are
voluntary.Change the verb form
is
Submitted by drpnima on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task question. Provide a clear evaluation of the benefits and drawbacks of young adults undertaking unpaid work in the community. Stick to the topic throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay shows a good overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph is logically linked and that ideas are developed coherently within each paragraph.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!