Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many
people
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argue that the effective way to reduce
crime
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is to give longer
prison
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sentences, while others say that there are better alternative
ways
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.
Although
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longer
prison
Use synonyms
sentences contribute to reducing the number of crimes, I believe that there are more effective
ways
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to decrease violence in
people
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's life. On the one hand, extending the
prison
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term of
criminals
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provides a sense of community security.
This
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is because many
people
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are afraid of being the
next
Linking Words
criminal target, so they think that punishing
criminals
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forever in
prison
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is the most effective way.
For example
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, individuals who live in a complex that has been robbed have
traumatic
Add a missing verb
been traumatic
show examples
about
this
Linking Words
case and felt scared every time, if their house is the
next
Linking Words
target.
Therefore
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, they felt
more safe
Replace the words
safer
show examples
if the
crime
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was been jailed forever.
On the other hand
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, implementing more effective
ways
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to prevent criminality
such
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as giving new skills to crimes might be better than extending the
prison
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term.
This
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is important in ensuring the survival of
crime
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in society. Many
criminals
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commit crimes because they are forced by circumstances.
For instance
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, when a person steals money from a house, he admits that his
crime
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was committed to
provide
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providing
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food for his family, particularly his child
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
As a result
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, new skills taught during
prison
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can propel former
criminals
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into good
people
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and have good behaviour too. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
giving longer
prison
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sentences potential to reduce
crime
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in society, I believe that the effective
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ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
to minimize
crime
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
to teach new skills during the
prison
Use synonyms
term.
Submitted by fasikhullisanugerah on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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