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Band 5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types go progress are equally important for country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Nowadays many governments believe that, and I agree, economical achievements and development for the
country
 is the most necessary aim, as
this
 enables them to invest in other important matters
such
 as education, technology and etc. If a
country
 enquires more money, it will get more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
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 to develop its other infrastructures.
This
 means that via assets which are gained through a dramatic economic
progress
 infrastructure is it would be modernized
for example
 the educational facilities of
such
 a
country
 might be improved, and the students will have more
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 to raise their knowledge if more money
be
Change the verb form
is
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 invested in
educational
Add an article
the educational
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 system.
However
, some people say that other kinds of
progress
 have
an
Remove the article
apply
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equal importance with economic one for a
country
, which we can notice
to
Change preposition
in
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 a
country
 having a weak military, in spite of its large
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
This
Correct determiner usage
Such
show examples
such
 a
country
 is always in danger of foreign invasions and even maybe conquered and colonized easily by them.
Hence
, having a powerful army and defensive
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 is crucially important the same as economic
progress
.
This
 means that other
progress
 should not be ignored by governments. In my honest opinion, the countries which have a developed
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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usually have
also
 reached to other accomplishments.
For instance
, China used to suffer from poverty all around
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
country
, but these days by reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
 place in terms of economical power in the world,
this
country
 has been destroying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty almost completely. And
on the other hand
,
this
country
 has changed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 one of the educational poles in the world in order to its efficient education system and the high amenities which its government provides for students.
Therefore
, I believe that economic
progress
 triggers other types of
progress
. In conclusion, I say that economic
progress
 is the most important goal, while by reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 goal, other kinds of
progress
 should be considered
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because I know the economic improvement as the largest factor for other ones.
Submitted by mehdizafari1995 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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