IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #children #age #development
Today, many people get married and have children after they are over 30 years old. In my view,
this
 is a positive advance
towards
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 my taste in terms of changing my personal status.
This
 is due to reasons
such
 as stability and sufficient maturity to the appropriate legal
age
.
To begin
 with, people who are busy working may feel that they are doing a stable job. Recently, the vast majority of people, especially those who have reached the
age
 of 25, are seriously seeking a long-term career.
As a result
, we are making money for the future and saving for the future. The pension when we become old
women
 is unreliable.
Therefore
, it could be the
next
 chapter to look ahead and ultimately support their needs,
such
 as having their own family.
However
, there are some downsides. One of the biggest problems
women
 face after getting married at an older
age
 is the risk of infertility.
As a result
, the whole family suffers for the rest of their lives, which makes it more painful to endure emotionally. In recent studies, the risk of infertility has been improved by science. In recent years, human life has been extended, and some
women
 are giving birth at an older
age
.
This
 is a very common scenario among working
women
 who want to succeed in life. In conclusion, the positive side of getting married late is clear. Raising children costs a lot of money, and in recent years, more and more parents are leaving their children in shelters if they cannot raise them. For that purpose, it is less risky to get married and give birth after accumulating a career and saving money.
Therefore
, I think that
this
 essay is positive and contributes to society.
Submitted by choko0320 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: