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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them obese. Do you agree or disagree

#parents #children
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It is argued that the mothers and fathers of overweight
children
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 should be penalized for allowing their offspring to become obese.
This
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 essay disagrees with
this
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 statement because
parents
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 do not control what
children
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 eat at all times and genetic factors are
also
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 to blame.
Parents
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 are not present when
children
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 consume most of their food. When
children
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 are at school they eat snacks and have lunch and adults have no control over their dietary intake during
this
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 time. A child could consume the vast majority of their calories during these unsupervised periods, without their mother and father's knowledge or permission and much of
this
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 intake could take the form of junk food.A recent study found that primary school students consume an average of 75% of their daily recommended allowance during school hours.
Secondly
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, obesity can
also
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 be a product of genetic effects in the case of many fat
children
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.Certainly, many families have imbalanced metabolism which is carried forward in the
next
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 generation.In
this
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 situation, both
parents
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 and
children
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 are helpless until and unless it is treated medically. A recent survey conducted in India concluded that 65% of
children
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 are overweight because of any genetic fault.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of punishing the
parents
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 of
such
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 ,
children
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 they must be given detailed and informed knowledge about helping their obese
children
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 with their problems whether it is dietary or medical. In conclusion,
parents
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 should not be sanctioned if their sons or daughters are too heavy because they are unable to supervise their diet for most of the day and genes play a role in determining the weight of a human being.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • genetics
  • socio-economic status
  • nutritional education
  • physical activity programs
  • adverse effects
  • mental health issues
  • responsibility sharing
  • implementation
  • privileged families
  • supportive environment
  • lifestyle changes
  • educational campaigns
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