Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working days or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done?

These days, enough
exercise
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
role in public health care. Employees
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
allocate appropriate
time
to their physical activities,
therefore
they are involved in mental and physical diseases.
Although
there are some causes which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
resulted
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
this
, there are some solutions. One of the
first
reasons
probably
Add a missing verb
is probably
show examples
not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
time
in their workplace.
In other words
, employers should
be considerably benefit
Change the verb form
considerably benefit
show examples
their workers
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
putting
especial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
exercise
time
.
For example
, companies in less developed countries,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are not neither
Rewrite the sentence
are not either
are neither
show examples
planning certain
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
for their workers’
exercise
nor building suitable gym clubs. There is no doubt that
this
affects their health and development, which is a negative impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the working people and society. Another major cause is individuals’ inappropriate
time
management. These days, there are constant stories about
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
of
time
in order to invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
physical activities. If working people plan exact
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
programs as their daily routine, they will possess
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
health problems. It is important that action is taken to combat these problems. Government should ensure that adequate legislation and controls are in people’s workplace that bosses will allocate certain
time
to their workers,
such
as government possibly enforce a new law that large
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
provide certain
time
and place so that their employees can gain benefit from physical activities. Individuals have a part to play. They need to exactly
plane
Correct your spelling
plan
show examples
to have
activates
Replace the word
activities
show examples
, which can be done through enrolling in
nearest
Correct article usage
the nearest
show examples
clubs from their workplace or home and taking a walk
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
commute path.
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
clubs could offer some encouraging facilities to employees by considering
a special discounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
special discounts
a special discount
show examples
. To conclude, many workers
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
get enough
time
to do
exercise
because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of certain
time
and suitable planning.
However
, with the right action by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, individuals, employers and club owners, it can be made a healthier working people and community.
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: