A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. -write a letter to the company. In your letter • Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sport team • Summaries the benefits of paying for the concerts • Say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #-write #sport #summaries

Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to express my appreciation for your decision to spend

money

for the benefit of our community, either to sponsor a local children's sports team or to arrange two concerts. In my opinion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children are an important part of society and their mental

health

and their physical

health

are very important. Spending

money

Change preposition

show examples

this

part

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

future society.

Also

, if you assign the

money

for sponsoring a local children’s sports team, it would be very effective to improve community

health

on the other hand

, holding concerts not only can be a leisure activity that the people enjoy but

also

can help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the mental

health

of the community. Spending

money

this

activity would be very effective to increase social happiness. assign the

money

in both items are praiseworthy. But from my standpoint, spending

money

for the children means investment for the future. Because if we expend

money

for them, they can have possibilities to advance. So I prefer that the

money

that would be spent on the children’s sports team. Hoping that you will consider my suggestion. Yours faithfully, Mehdi Sohrabi

Submitted by mehdisohrabi352 on Sun Apr 24 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

192 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Students should be allowed to choose academic courses or practical courses, e.g carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the competition in job market is increasingly firecer. There is a perception that higher education can not provide with knowledge or skills a graduate needs. It is agreed that students should be given the choice to select the right courses catering to their needs. Analysis of the benefits of
7
band
Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether we are more or less dependent on others nowadays. In my view, modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past.
6.5
band
nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?
More and more people today witness a hard time getting ample sleep. This essay will examine the problems associated with lack of sleep and how they can be resolved.
6.5
band
Write about the following topic. Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Fashion plays an important role in our day-to-day life;According to some people, vogue products are too expensive, while some argue that these goods are worth the money as they play an important part in our life.I believe higher-end brands are way too expensive and could not be bought by underprivileged people. However, people are evident to spend more cash on style products to show their social stature.
6
band
Some teachers think that international student exchange programs would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?
Many teachers hold the view that international exchange programs would bring benefits to all teenage school students. It is felt that although such programs can be disadvantageous to students to a certain extent, the advantages are still more significant.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Students should be allowed to choose academic courses or practical courses, e.g carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Some teachers think that international student exchange programs would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.