Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Finding the best way to spend
leisure
time
is difficult
to
Add the comma(s)
,to
show examples
say the least, especially after hearing about controversial studies that are being done on
this
topic. While some
people
are promoting the idea that it is quite critical to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
the mind by doing mental
activities
, others consider
rest
far more important for the mind to be healthy. I am convinced that both
activities
and
rest
are essential;
however
, having an appropriate balance is vital. Those who advocate doing mental
activities
in
leisure
time
have some valid points. They often take the example of well-known diseases like dementia and Alzheimer's disease that could be prevented by
activities
like solving
sudoko
Correct your spelling
sudoku
and learning new languages.
Thus
, one should say here that using the
brain
is required to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
healthy ageing.
Moreover
, improving in today's
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
world needs
people
having wide information about different topics. Since most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humans
Add an article
the humans
show examples
are working most days of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
week these days, the only
time
remains
Correct pronoun usage
that remains
show examples
for them to improve their knowledge is their
leisure
time
.
For instance
, in most job interviews or university
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
interviews, applicants are expected to talk about topics other than the main one.
Consequently
, for improving,
people
need to use their
time
to improve their knowledge by reading more. Despite the above, having
rest
has always been viewed as a must for a
brain
to work properly. For a human to learn new things , their
brain
should not be
exhusted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
.
For example
, the subjects that a person learn after
eight-hour
Correct article usage
an eight-hour
show examples
workshift
Correct your spelling
work shift
not only take more
time
but
also
get forgotten easily.
Therefore
, to have a productive mind, the
brain
should
rest
to restore. Apart from that, the chance of making mistakes increases when brains are
exhusted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
. So, if a person does not
rest
, they will make mistakes at work and might get hired. To sum up, one can say continuous
brain
training can bring many advantages for
ones'
Change noun form
one's
show examples
current situations and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
futures
Fix the agreement mistake
future
show examples
, whereas do not let
Correct article usage
the minds
show examples
minds
Fix the agreement mistake
mind
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take
time
to reset can leads to serious negative consequences. I would say that
people
should have a balance and spend half of their
leisure
time
doing mental
activities
and the other half taking
rest
.
Submitted by panizfathi70128 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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