The teaching of information technology has become a standard part of the curriculum in most secondary schools. The same is now happening in primary schools, where children as young as six are learning how to use computers. However, there is a danger that IT skills are being taught at the expense of more basic skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Information
technology
plays a crucial role as a part of the module in most secondary schools.
Children
who are in primary school
also
have been taught
this
skill.
Although
it is said that there are a few drawbacks to teaching technical
skills
at a young age, I partially disagree with
this
opinion and I will explain other reasons in
this
essay. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, instructions on technical knowledge for youngsters at schools might be a burden for them as they will not be able to cope with every skill at once.
Moreover
, basic
skills
like social and moral
skills
are more compulsory to young students and these
skills
have to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way for
technology
if it
involves
Wrong verb form
is involved
show examples
in
children
’s curriculum. Most importantly, without proper guidance,
technology
will be a toxic substance to an underaged person and it is ruining childhood.
For instance
, young students have been targeted and harmed by digitized technologies
such
as cyberbullying.
On the other hand
, it is argued that
children
today are the leaders for tomorrow and they should establish a foundation of technical knowledge at their schools
due to
their brain development starts at the age of five.
In addition
, as technological advancement provides an endless supply of learning resources, it will encourage spontaneous learning and will excite young students.
Besides
,
technology
is a cost-effective alternative to traditional materials and opens up new possibilities for
children
's collaboration.
For example
,
children
can be attracted by computer games with moving pictures to learn new words. In conclusion,
although
we are aware of the potential dangers of technological involvement in
children
’s lives, we cannot eliminate it from education, and teachers and parents should
corporate
Verb problem
cooperate
show examples
together to utilize
technology
for
children
effectively.
Submitted by lwinlwinthein2017 on

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task response
Provide a clearer opinion in the introduction and conclusion to clearly express your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear organization with some ideas presented in a disjointed manner. Use transitions to connect ideas and ensure a clearer progression of arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates some control of a range of complex structures, but there are some repetitive and inaccurate constructions. Work on varying sentence structures and using more precise and accurate language.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curriculum
  • Inclusion
  • Relevance
  • Foundation
  • Career opportunities
  • Overemphasis
  • Undermine
  • Foundational skills
  • Balanced viewpoint
  • Technological proficiency
  • Cognitive development
  • Screen time
  • Social interactions
  • Teacher training
  • Resources
  • Enhances
  • Detracts from
  • Literacy
  • Numeracy
  • Proficiency
  • Neglected
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