IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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Nowadays, it is obvious that the
internet
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 plays a crucial role in humans' everyday lives. Some
people
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 argue the
internet
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 has increasingly gained popularity and that the
newspapers
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 will be outdated. Personally, I agree with the statement since there are uncountable benefits that the
internet
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 could bring about. In the following paragraphs, the details will be elaborated
Change preposition
on before
show examples
before
Change preposition
on before
show examples
 the conclusion is reached. On the one hand,
although
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newspapers
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 were widely read by many
people
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 in the past, the
internet
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 has become more popular and almost displaced the
newspapers
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. The primary reason why that happened is, that publishing the
newspapers
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, required far more resources than posting on the
internet
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. Since the world is facing environmental issues, publishers are now more aware of negative consequences that could harm the environment.
Moreover
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, the process takes more time to proceed, including publishing, delivering, and selling.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 have to travel to get
newspapers
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 to read, and that is an indirect cost associated with reading physical paper.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, using the
internet
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 is predominantly time-effective and cost-efficient. With advanced technology development, individuals can access the
internet
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 wherever they are and whenever they want. It is
also
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 accessible from many devices. Aside from current affairs that the
internet
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 provides, there are other interesting things that
people
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 can search for,
such
Linking Words
 as entertaining and educational programs. It can assist
people
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 to unwind and relax. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
newspapers
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 are gradually becoming obsolete, and embracing digital media is essential for staying updated and connected in modern society.

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topic relevance
Ensure your essay response directly addresses the given topic. It seems there was a mix-up regarding the essay prompt. Your content mostly discussed the transition from newspapers to the internet, which deviates from the topic about animal experimentation.
detail enhancement
Develop your arguments with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your viewpoint. While your arguments are clear, incorporating more detailed examples could enhance your essay's persuasive power.
focus and relevance
Keep an eye on staying on topic and ensuring that every paragraph contributes to your overall argument in response to the essay question asked.
conclusion clarity
Be mindful of the clarity and specificity of your conclusion. Reiterate your main points and ensure the conclusion directly addresses the essay question.
structure and organization
You've effectively organized your essay with a clear introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure aids in presenting your arguments logically.
flow and readability
Your use of paragraphs and transitions between ideas provides a good flow, making your essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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