In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered ‘role models', and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Does the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?
It is argued that many celebrities are now increasingly influencing on young generation. The writer of
this
essay believes that the benefits of inspiration in life as well as
philanthropic activities outweigh the drawbacks of detrimental behaviour.
Motivating the young folks is one of the core reasons why celebrities should be a “role model”. That is
to say, due to
the publicity of many achievements in various fields they have gained after a hard-working period, can form an encouraging mindset in youngsters, leading to the later success of the young generation. Take Antony Mateus as a great example here, thanks to the inspiration from his idol, Cristiano Ronaldo, he is now becoming one of the most expensive players of all time.
Another significant advantage of this
statement is the charitable approach. To be further
explained, society will be filled with sincerity and kindness if celebrities tend to share their charitable works on social media. For instance
, Mixigaming
, a famous Vietnamese streamer, despite his unstandardized speeches on Correct your spelling
Microgaming
livestream
, he monthly raises Change the capitalization
Livestream
up
his own charity fund so as to build more houses for the ethnic minorities in mountainous places.
Change preposition
apply
By contrast
, harmful behaviour should be considered as a great setback. To put it plainly, a large amount of toxic content is uncontrollably spreading in cyberspace. Consequently
, it has resulted in the emulation of a wide range of teenagers, contributing to worsening the sociable ethic. This
might be true for some perspectives, but it must be recognised that by adding a filter stage, the censorship system can eliminate damaging videos. Additionally
, if parents force their children to use age-appropriate software, they can raise a bright mindset in the youth.
In conclusion, the possible impact of young folks being affected by negative behaviour is outweighed by the motivation of working along with
the effect of charitable activities.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Work on developing a clearer thesis statement to provide a stronger foundation for your argument. Clearly delineate your main points in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs have a clear and distinct central idea to improve logical flow. Using transition words and phrases more effectively can help in this regard.
task achievement
Your use of relevant and specific examples to support your arguments is commendable. This provides credibility to your points and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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