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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that to be successful. you need to get in a university education. whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion

#people #university #education
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Success
Use synonyms
 is derived
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 integrity of
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 immense
power
Use synonyms
 of
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
essay
 put forth vivid rationales to discuss both the views and will etch out a reasoned conclusion followed by my opinion.
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 ability would create great
success
Use synonyms
. There are
School
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
show examples
 that
University
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is mandatory for getting greater
success
Use synonyms
 in life
Add the particle
to emphasize
show examples
emphasize
Change the verb form
emphasizes
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tertiary
education
Use synonyms
. Currently, in
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century, every sector
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 basic
education
Use synonyms
 is required for
defeating
Wrong verb form
defeat
show examples
 the competition.
University
Use synonyms
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
 platform where
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 can become successful in their life
also
Linking Words
college
Use synonyms
 or
university
Use synonyms
 have experienced professor so it would be more beneficial for forth
forword
Correct your spelling
forward
 the person's career.
For instance
Linking Words
, Chetan Bhagat
known
Add the auxiliary verb
is known
show examples
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 story writer in India. Chetan came from
Add a hyphen
well-reputed
show examples
well reputed
Add a hyphen
well-reputed
show examples
college
Use synonyms
 and all the support for becoming
story
Correct article usage
a story
show examples
 writer was given by
college
Use synonyms
professor
Fix the agreement mistake
professors
show examples
 and students. Eventually, Chetan become India's one
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the top story
writer
Fix the agreement mistake
writers
show examples
. All in all, colleges provide
environment
Add an article
an environment
the environment
show examples
 to be successful in
career
Correct pronoun usage
your career
show examples
 or life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
success
Use synonyms
 can be derived
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 internal ability and internal
power
Use synonyms
. If
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
courage
Change the article
the courage
show examples
 to dwell
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 own dream
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 ultimately that person's
power
Use synonyms
 push
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
upword
Correct your spelling
upward
 day upon day. Eventually,
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 or
college
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 not be considered
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mandatory.
Ones
Change to a genitive case
One's
show examples
 innovative thinking, analytics
power
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 a person's personality all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sorts
Add an article
the sorts
show examples
 of valuable things lead to greater
success
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
world's
Change noun form
world
show examples
 one of the top
innovator
Fix the agreement mistake
innovators
show examples
 Elon Musk, Elon spend only two days in the
college
Use synonyms
.
Afterthat
Correct your spelling
After that
, he dropout
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
University
Use synonyms
 and did what he want.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end, Elon
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 top Businessman. All in all, self-
education
Use synonyms
 or self-
power
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
 to be
Use synonyms
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
. In conclusion,
college
Use synonyms
 and
university
Use synonyms
 avail that platform which easily
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 sufficient support for
success
Use synonyms
 but in my
eyes
Add a comma
,eyes
show examples
 one's self ability and dedication is more important than
outer
Add an article
the outer
show examples
 atmosphere.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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