IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that building cities vertically, with tall towers, is better than building cities horizontally. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #cities #towers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I believe that there is a group of people who would prefer the upward
expansion
Use synonyms
 of the
city
Use synonyms
. In my viewpoint, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay shall discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand,
upward
Correct article usage
the upward
show examples
expansion
Use synonyms
 of a
city
Use synonyms
 can help the developers use less precious land, while it
also
Linking Words
 can protect the natural environment. I believe that planners have no reasons to destroy wildlife habitats that help preserve the ecosystems and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 natural resources.
This
Linking Words
 can provide enough space
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 where public parks could be constructed and used. Which can help meet people’s demand for fresh air and outdoor physical activity.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my country of Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh
City
Use synonyms
’s council members have developed Thủ Thiêm
city
Use synonyms
 with has many tall buildings and public parks that ensure a clean and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear environment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all living things.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the outward
expansion
Use synonyms
 of cities can create a
Use synonyms
city-sprawl
Correct your spelling
city sprawl
show examples
, which may even cause more concern.
Such
Linking Words
 as, transportation has become more and more challenging and congested. During peak times there are now more vehicles on the roads, which causes traffic jams and pollution.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 result in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hazardous air quality, which advises the citizens that they should not even go out. All in all, the
city
Use synonyms
 planners must consider these two key factors, preservation of the ecosystem and traffic jams to avoid an outward
expansion
Use synonyms
. Developers should balance these benefits among
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 stakeholders in society before making any
city
Use synonyms
expansion
Use synonyms
 decisions.
Submitted by viet.phamtan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: