Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a widespread belief that up-to-date gadgets have an adverse influence on relationships in society.
This
writer partly agrees with the statement. It is evident that technological devices can limit the communication of citizens.
Due to
the convenience of some contacting applications on state-of-the-art gadgets
such
as Zalo, dwellers are overusing them and becoming less talkative with each other.
This
thing influences negatively the relationship between friends or even members of a family resulting in a boring society where each individual doesn't care about the other.
For example
, in some big metropolises in the world, residents living in apartments barely go out and share their stories with their neighbours. Using online platforms or cutting-edge technology in order to keep social relationships not only may lead to strengthening the cordial connection between people but
also
could have another beneficial profit including improving the level of mental health and well-being for those who suffer from a lack of confidence.
In other words
, with the advent of technology people can contact others more simply and easily than what was in the past and, certainly, they would greet or meet together just by pushing some buttons through a virtual network
while
meeting in actual places where they need a lot of time to arrange.
Additionally
,
this
large amount of connection would enhance the mood of individuals who are shy or scared of being in actual places through virtual connection may improve their self-confidence after a
while
. In conclusion,
while
modern communication technologies expand our connectivity, they risk diminishing the depth of our relationships.

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and offers a balanced argument. However, make sure to clarify key points and avoid ambiguity in your statements. For instance, the phrase 'beneficial profit' could simply be written as 'benefits.'
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, ensure smoother transitions between ideas for even better coherence. Using linking words such as 'Moreover' and 'Furthermore' might improve the readability.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a formal tone throughout the essay by avoiding colloquial expressions like 'just by pushing some buttons.' A more formal alternative could be 'simply by using digital platforms.'
task achievement
Your essay offers a balanced view by addressing both the pros and cons of modern communication technology.
task achievement
You successfully supported your main points with relevant examples, enhancing the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a concise opening and a summarizing closing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • meaningful conversations
  • notifications
  • long-distance relationships
  • online communities
  • social networks
  • social anxiety
  • digital communication
  • real-world interactions
  • over-reliance
  • detrimental effect
  • inhibit
  • deep social connections
  • distract
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