Too much emphasis is put on earning money rather than looking for a good quality of life. To what extent do you agree with this idea ?

#emphasis #money #quality #life #idea

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Many

people

focus on making

money

rather than seeking a

life

with good quality. I completely agree with

this

statement for a number of plausible reasons. On the one hand, the reason why numerous individuals follow

this

trend is that they are worried more about the future. Nowadays, having a good standard of living is harder than it was in the past. Many

people

live with

this

mindset: if you have more

money

, you will be happier.

Moreover

, a recent COVID-19 outbreak showed us how unpredictable

life

can be. Plenty of

people

became unemployed without any backup plans during that time. They struggled with making ends meet.

As a result

, they became more conscious of their

money

and started saving more funds for rainy days.

On the other hand

, gaining more

money

is considered a status symbol today. Almost everyone wants to have a successful career and climb the ladders of corporate

life

. Many believe that once you get a job in a big corporation, your

life

will be better and your well-being will improve.

However

, they do not even realize they miss their prime years for the sake of feeling accomplished. The excessive number of

people

became workaholics,

as a result

this

rat race. They forget to live in the moment and enjoy their

life

As a consequence

, they continue to be more productive

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and get promotions and good salaries without making time to spend them. In conclusion, I firmly believe that

people

think that having more

money

is more important than looking for a high-quality

life

because they want to be financially stable in the future and they want to be seen as accomplished.

Submitted by Narmin on Sun Jun 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all points are fully developed with relevant examples where possible. For instance, in the paragraph about status symbols, provide a specific example of someone who prioritized money over quality of life.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing logical structure. Some transitional phrases can be used to connect sentences more smoothly. For instance, instead of 'On the other hand', you may use 'Additionally' for better flow of ideas in your second point.

coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, contributing to the overall coherence.

task achievement

The main points are well-supported and relevant examples are included, which enhances the effectiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial success
overall happiness
relationships
health
personal fulfillment
material wealth
stress
anxiety
work-life balance
deteriorate
quality of life
prioritizing
financial gains
neglect
family
social connections
emotional well-being
balanced life
never-ending cycle
ambition
dissatisfaction
genuine happiness
financial stability
overemphasis
hobbies
leisure activities
mental health

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Too much emphasis is put on earning money rather than looking for a good quality of life. To what extent do you agree with this idea ?

Fully explain your ideas

some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect o young people's reading and writing skills . to what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their doctors . Do you this this is a positive or negative development ?

1. You are leaving your current job for some reasons and you would like to recommend one of your friends to your manager. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter - say why you resign - what are the duties of your current job - why your friend is suitable for this job

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some think that it is a positive development, whereas others consider it as negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and heath care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?