Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There are those who opine that the practice of spending too much
time
in shopping centres could be detrimental to young people
and the
Correct article usage
apply
society
as a whole. I fully agree with this
view. In my opinion, if youngsters spend too much time
shopping or in malls
, it can hurt not only their grades but also
their financial situation because shopping requires both time
and money.
When young people
become obsessed with shopping, they will find themselves in serious financial difficulties. If they hang out in the malls
, they will want to buy many things even if they do not really need them. As shopping requires money, youngsters will have to find a source of income. Consequently
, some of them may choose to work
part-time
or some might even quit their studies
and work
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
. Both are detrimental to their academic progress and career. Working part-time
will reduce the amount of time
they can focus on their studies
and thus
affect their grades. Now if they choose to quit studies
to Correct pronoun usage
their studies
work
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
, they will seriously hurt their career prospects as well-paying jobs require at least a university degree. Some young people
may choose not to work
. Instead
, they will get into crimes such
as robbery. Obviously, spending excessive time
in malls
has a seriously negative impact on young people
.
Excessive shopping also
affects society
. It leads to excessive consumption which is detrimental to the environment. Also
, when young people
are obsessed with spending, they will fall into the debt trap. This
is bad for society
as well. When they cannot find enough money to fulfil their shopping goals or to pay off their debts caused by excessive shopping, youngsters may get into illegal activities like robbery, shoplifting or even smuggling. All of these have a detrimental effect on society
.
In short, shopping is good so long as it is done in moderation. If young people
spend an excessive amount of time
in malls
, they will not have much time
to focus on their studies
and they will also
fall into debt. Obviously, this
hurts them as well as
their society
.Submitted by akshata6.kas on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Make sure to clearly address all aspects of the prompt, including presenting a balanced perspective where necessary.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, but ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly and that ideas are developed coherently.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!