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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

- [x] Set 3: Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

#[x] #overpopulation #areas #two #ones #governments #individuals
It has been universally acknowledged that the
problem
 of
Correct your spelling
overcrowding
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over crowding
Correct your spelling
overcrowding
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 in metropolitan cities is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario.
This
problem
 has been creating a large number of issues.The following paragraphs would elucidate possible reasons for the
problem
 and propose a handful of remedial measures. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for
the
Change the word
its
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 growth of it. The
first
 and foremost one
is increased
Change the verb form
has increased
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 pollution and traffic congestion in urban areas . Due to the large number of
people
 living in the cities leads to
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 usage of transportation has increased
then
 more fuel burning has happened.
Hence
,
air
Add an article
the air
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become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 polluted and
people
 will suffer
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
 diseases
such
 as respiratory conditions. Generally, many states suffered
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
this
problem
 ,
for instance
, in Delhi, the percentage of
air
 pollution increased day by day due to overcrowding and large usage of vehicles. The
second
 contributing factor is resources became limited mainly water and electricity.
Furthermore
,
this
 is a common
problem
 in some places around the world. In order to solve
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 serious issues, some measures can be taken.
Firstly
, the government should build cities according to the rising population and take proper measures to decrease
air
 pollution as well.
Furthermore
,
people
 must use public transport or
car pool
Correct your spelling
carpool
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instead
 of using their own vehicles in order to can reduce smog in
air
Add an article
the air
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.
In addition
 to
this
, authorities could encourage
people
 to limit the utilising or misuse
resources
Change preposition
of resources
show examples
 and create awareness on how to overcome these situations. To recapitulate, I would like to state that both the government and individuals should put their best foot forward together in order to curb the menace.
Submitted by Sulochana.kante on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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