These days everyone seems to have more possessions(e.g. computers, cars, mobile phones, etc) Our strong desire to own these things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others. Do you agree or disagree?

#possessions #e #g #computers #cars #phones #desire #qualities #kindness #concern

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In the contemporary era, with the evolving social landscape,

people

Use synonyms

have acquired numerous personal properties

such

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as laptops, motorcycles, and technological products.

Therefore

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, some

people

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assert that

this

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desire-oriented trend leads individuals to lack consciousness of genuine personality traits (e.g., kindness and concern). From my perspective, I agree with

this

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viewpoint. There are several indicators that materialism and overconsumption culture contribute to

people

Use synonyms

becoming increasingly self-centred and indifferent.

For example

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, excessive advertisements and endorsements create a sense of achievement in

people

Use synonyms

, which leads them to believe that owning more and more possessions can gain social proof.

This

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, in turn, makes individuals keen to pursue materialistic aspects and not be interested in connecting with others.

Moreover

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, compared to expressing their personality and emotions, young

people

Use synonyms

emphasize their financial resources more, as they use them as a means of building a high level of social status, making them feel a sense of pride.

This

Linking Words

not only contributes to creating a show-off culture but

also

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impedes the improvement of positive character traits.

However

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, it is undeniable that some possessions can help

people

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express their kindness;

for instance

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, tech gadgets allow individuals to build human connections through messages, emails, and phone calls.

Nevertheless

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this

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kind of communication

also

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fuels the phenomenon of artificial relationships, as it lacks face-to-face interactions and a sense of genuine understanding and compassion, leading

people

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to continue neglecting the importance of true character. In conclusion, in today's materialistic society,

people

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have a radical desire to own more possessions, leading them to disregard crucial personal traits

such

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as empathy and concern, all of which are essential components of being a well-rounded and friendly person.

Submitted by zora840810 on Tue Jul 30 2024

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task achievement

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear, main idea to enhance the coherence.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt and answers the question thoroughly.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, and each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both effective and give a clear framework on the topic addressed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

273 words

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These days everyone seems to have more possessions(e.g. computers, cars, mobile phones, etc) Our strong desire to own these things is making us less aware of important personal qualities such as kindness and concern for others. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?