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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

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Over the past decades, countries all over the world have become more connected
each
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to each
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 other in terms of
technology
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technological
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 advancement.
People
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 have started calling themselves
as
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apply
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world citizens, regardless of where they are born, and they believe having patriotism is heading to problems.
However
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, there are some who have different views about it. Some
people
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 believe that it brings positive effects, while others argue that it might have more disadvantages than benefits.
Therefore
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, the arguments on both sides of
this
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 controversial issue will be discussed in the following paragraphs in turn, and
finally
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, my opinion will be given. On the one hand, some opponents are quick to point out that there are various reasons to consider getting advantages of patriotism. Before all else, it drives a good trend for local businesses and products, which are essentially needed to be supported, because most
people
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 tend to have foreign famous brands rather than local ones.
Moreover
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, governments can get more funding as well if their citizens are willing to pay their taxes.
For example
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, Singapore, one of the most developed countries in the world, have a policy for their citizens
such
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 as
pension
Correct article usage
a pension
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 system over age 60 for any type of employee, as long as they have paid their tax.
On the other hand
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, other proponents have
also
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 expressed an equal view that there are several drawbacks
of
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to
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this
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 issue.
First
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 of all, it might be seen as an old-fashioned conservative notion for
this
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 technology age.
For instance
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, many
people
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 are working and migrating
in
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to
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 other countries to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 better qualities of life. But it seems to be impossible to get
this
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 kind of chance if they deadly grab their notion without any development of life. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some arguments and different opinions, I passionately believe that the benefits of patriotism will outshine its drawbacks.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • sense of belonging
  • strengthening societal bonds
  • instills
  • pride and loyalty
  • excessive
  • nationalism
  • intolerance
  • discrimination
  • conflict
  • blind allegiance
  • flawed policies
  • unifying force
  • crisis
  • manipulated
  • political leaders
  • division
  • advocating
  • responsibility
  • civic duty
  • engaged
  • informed citizenship
  • balanced and inclusive
  • cultural diversity
  • marginalize
  • minority groups
  • stifle dissent
What to do next:
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