The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at he same time, the military service are in need of people. compulsory military service is beneficial and neccessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#youth #countries #time #service #people #neccessary

It is sometimes believed that compulsory military

service

is useful and vital in case there are many unemployed and unskilled youth in the country. The author of

this

essay totally

disagree

Change the verb form

disagrees

show examples

with

this

statement for several reasons. The first point given to support my opinion is the environment of

military

Add an article

the military

a military

show examples

is strict.

This

is because

people

have to do extreme work

such

as running or standing outside under the sun for a long time.

Therefore

, they can not catch up with others and can get sick if they

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

durability and energy.

For instance

,in Vietnam ,there was a news

recorded

Wrong verb form

record

show examples

Change preposition

of a

show examples

large number of

soldier

Fix the agreement mistake

soldiers

show examples

ran out of energy

while

they

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

running .

This

is why

Change the capitalization

show examples

think

people

should not be forced to take military

service

. Another reason behind my belief is that going for military

service

is the best way to waste time. To explain more, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countries require at least 2 years for

this

, meaning that

soldier

Fix the agreement mistake

soldiers

show examples

don’t know what happening outside and they only gain a

few

Correct quantifier usage

little

show examples

money after finishing military

service

Thus

the

Correct article usage

show examples

large amount of

people

don’t have stable work after military

service

because they don’t have enough knowledge. So , they should be motivated to learn

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and work

for helping

Change preposition

to help

show examples

the economy

instead

of doing military

service

For

this

reason, I believe that military

service

should not be compelled. In conclusion, I entirely disagree that compulsory military

service

Correct your spelling

necessary

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

and beneficial because some

people

can not adjust to the environment

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and it

also

waste

Change the verb form

wastes

show examples

the time of the youth.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Thu Aug 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to provide more relevant and diverse examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on proofreading your essay for grammatical and punctuation errors to make your writing clearer and more professional.

task achievement

Expand on the main points a bit more, providing clear explanations and avoiding repetition.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively state your position on the topic.

task achievement

Your essay covers the main reasons for your disagreement with compulsory military service, providing a complete response to the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
Nowadays, many leaders of specific countries are putting money into new technology to cope with society. This is caused by the requirement of wonder citizens who live in that country and this writer thinks that this is unsuitable in light of its disconvincing recognition.
4.5
band
The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?
A vast number if cities and towns were constructed in ancient time . These were best places to live for people . However, these are not longer suitable nowadays. This is due to the fact that these towns and cities lack public transportation and essential modern facilities such as hospitals and schools. Hence , lical governments should release public transportation vehicles and start to establish necessary facilities .
4.5
band
Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In this contemporary era, people have busy lives. Then maintaining good healthy is challenge. Soke claims that exercise is the best way to stay healthy. While others point out that a balanced diet is more essential. I strongly agree with both of arguments. Nonetheless, in this essay, I will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.
4.5
band
To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?
In modern society the kind of children meal at schools has been an issue that sparks a considerable debate amongst people. A majority of people believe that the children should eat healthy food at schools to get an effective learning. In this essay I will write my opinion about the subject and give a reasons and examples to support my view.
5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?
Currently, there are rising number of people with health issues choosing alternative medicines and treatments instead of consulting to doctors. This trend could become an unprecedented situation as alternatives medications have not gone through proper medical trials.

The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at he same time, the military service are in need of people. compulsory military service is beneficial and neccessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Your opinion

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?