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The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at he same time, the military service are in need of people. compulsory military service is beneficial and neccessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#youth #countries #time #service #people #neccessary
It is sometimes believed that compulsory military
service
 is useful and vital in case there are many unemployed and unskilled youth in the country. The author of
this
 essay totally
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with
this
 statement for several reasons. The first point given to support my opinion is the environment of
military
Add an article
the military
a military
show examples
 is strict.
This
 is because
people
 have to do extreme work
such
 as running or standing outside under the sun for a long time.
Therefore
, they can not catch up with others and can get sick if they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
durability and energy.
For instance
 ,in Vietnam ,there was a news
recorded
Wrong verb form
record
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
large number of
soldier
Fix the agreement mistake
soldiers
show examples
 ran out of energy
while
 they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 running .
This
 is why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
people
 should not be forced to take military
service
. Another reason behind my belief is that going for military
service
 is the best way to waste time. To explain more, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries require at least 2 years for
this
, meaning that
soldier
Fix the agreement mistake
soldiers
show examples
 don’t know what happening outside and they only gain a
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
 money after finishing military
service
 .
Thus
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large amount of
people
 don’t have stable work after military
service
 because they don’t have enough knowledge. So , they should be motivated to learn
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and work
for helping
Change preposition
to help
show examples
 the economy
instead
 of doing military
service
.
For
this
 reason, I believe that military
service
 should not be compelled. In conclusion, I entirely disagree that compulsory military
service
 is
Correct your spelling
necessary
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 and beneficial because some
people
 can not adjust to the environment
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and it
also
waste
Change the verb form
wastes
show examples
 the time of the youth.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and diverse examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on proofreading your essay for grammatical and punctuation errors to make your writing clearer and more professional.
task achievement
Expand on the main points a bit more, providing clear explanations and avoiding repetition.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively state your position on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay covers the main reasons for your disagreement with compulsory military service, providing a complete response to the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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