The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at he same time, the military service are in need of people. compulsory military service is beneficial and neccessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is sometimes believed that compulsory military
service
is useful and vital in case there are many unemployed and unskilled youth in the country. The author of this
essay totally disagree
with Change the verb form
disagrees
this
statement for several reasons.
The first point given to support my opinion is the environment of military
is strict. Add an article
the military
a military
This
is because people
have to do extreme work such
as running or standing outside under the sun for a long time. Therefore
, they can not catch up with others and can get sick if they have
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
lack Correct article usage
apply
of
durability and energy. Change preposition
apply
For instance
,in Vietnam ,there was a news recorded
Wrong verb form
record
a
large number of Change preposition
of a
soldier
ran out of energy Fix the agreement mistake
soldiers
while
they was
running . Change the verb form
were
This
is why i
think Change the capitalization
I
people
should not be forced to take military service
.
Another reason behind my belief is that going for military service
is the best way to waste time. To explain more, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
countries require at least 2 years for Correct article usage
apply
this
, meaning that soldier
don’t know what happening outside and they only gain a Fix the agreement mistake
soldiers
few
money after finishing military Correct quantifier usage
little
service
. Thus
, the
large amount of Correct article usage
a
people
don’t have stable work after military service
because they don’t have enough knowledge. So , they should be motivated to learn skill
and work Fix the agreement mistake
skills
for helping
the economy Change preposition
to help
instead
of doing military service
. For
this
reason, I believe that military service
should not be compelled.
In conclusion, I entirely disagree that compulsory military service
is Correct your spelling
necessary
neccessary
and beneficial because some Correct your spelling
necessary
people
can not adjust to the environment of
Change preposition
apply
it
and it Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
waste
the time of the youth.Change the verb form
wastes
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task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and diverse examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on proofreading your essay for grammatical and punctuation errors to make your writing clearer and more professional.
task achievement
Expand on the main points a bit more, providing clear explanations and avoiding repetition.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively state your position on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay covers the main reasons for your disagreement with compulsory military service, providing a complete response to the question.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?