In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive effects or negative effects on society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there is a significant increase in the proportion of elderly people in many countries. Personally, I argue that
this
Linking Words
trend exerts more negative impacts on society. One of the main drawbacks is that ageing 
populations
Use synonyms
put a heavy burden on the social welfare system. The more retired people there are in a society, the more claims are made for state pensions.
As a result
Linking Words
, the government will have to increase funds for the state pension system, while reducing funds for other social programmes, including financial support for low-income families, unemployment benefits and student loans.
Besides
Linking Words
, a higher proportion of elderly people in the population is
also
Linking Words
likely to cause
labour
Use synonyms
shortages, resulting in lower productivity. Not only will
this
Linking Words
hinder economic growth
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
it will
also
Linking Words
cause
labour
Use synonyms
costs to rise. To cover higher
labour
Use synonyms
costs, companies will have to raise the prices of their products and services -- a burden that will be borne by consumers.
However
Linking Words
, there are some benefits. To be more specific, ageing
populations
Use synonyms
may lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rising demand for healthcare workers and
therefore
Linking Words
may create job opportunities in healthcare-related fields
such
Linking Words
as nursing and pharmacy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, compared with the negative impacts that ageing
populations
Use synonyms
would have on economic activities in other industries, the possible growth in healthcare-related jobs would seem insignificant. In conclusion, I argue that ageing
populations
Use synonyms
cause more problems, due to the negative effects on the social welfare system and the economy. In order to alleviate the situation, the government should extend the retirement age to prevent serious
labour
Use synonyms
shortages. Marriage and childbearing should
also
Linking Words
be encouraged.
Submitted by 1378468145 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: