IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...................,

#friend #advice #college #job #idea #addresses
Dear Janet, I hope
this
 message finds you well and that you are enjoying your post-graduation phase. I received your letter
last
 week inquiring about potential career opportunities or pursuing
further
 education.
Firstly
,
while
 engaging in a college program may offer certain benefits, I believe studying subjects
such
 as Mathematics and Science may not align with your interests, as you have not expressed a strong affinity for these disciplines.
Secondly
, I would advise against embarking on
further
 studies without first securing gainful employment, as
this
 could be unproductive in terms of your practical career development. Based on my understanding of your interests, I recognize your enthusiasm for fashion and your attention to current trends.
This
 is clearly reflected in your choice of apparel and artistic endeavours. I still fondly recall the handmade jacket you crafted for me on my birthday.
Therefore
, I encourage you to compile your portfolio and actively pursue opportunities with fashion companies, as I am confident that you will secure a position shortly. Best regards, Arthur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on why college might not be enjoyable for Janet, possibly providing more specific reasons or examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and includes clear transitions to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
Strong and appropriate greeting and closing, adding to the formality and politeness of the letter.
task achievement
Suitable and friendly tone that matches the purpose of giving advice to a friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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