Task 1; The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The given bar charts illustrate what

Use synonyms

gradates

Correct your spelling

graduates

show examples

and alumna did after leaving

college

Change the capitalization

College

show examples

in 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

show examples

number of

Add an article

a destination

show examples

destination

Fix the agreement mistake

destinations

show examples

of the

Use synonyms

recipient have higher than

Add an article

the destination

a destination

show examples

destination

Fix the agreement mistake

destinations

show examples

of the

Use synonyms

alumna .

Moreover

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

further

Linking Words

review has the number of people

are

Change the verb form

show examples

the highest both in recipient and alum in the

Use synonyms

. Interestingly ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

voluntary

work

Use synonyms

has the number of people

are

Change the verb form

show examples

the lowest both graduates and postgraduates in the

Use synonyms

. Focusing on the first graph,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

shows that

29,665

Correct article usage

the 29,665

show examples

graduate

students

Use synonyms

increase to

peak

Add an article

a peak

show examples

further

Linking Words

study. In contact,the figures

Change preposition

for

show examples

voluntary

work

Use synonyms

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

only 3500 graduate

students

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, part-time

work

Use synonyms

was higher than unemployment by 1500 graduate

students

Use synonyms

. Turning to the

second

Linking Words

graph, it shows that

further

Linking Words

study was the highest at 2725 postgraduate

students

Use synonyms

and

further

Linking Words

study was higher than part-time

work

Use synonyms

at 190 postgraduate

students

Use synonyms

which 1625 did

unemployment

Replace the word

unemployed

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the voluntary

work

Use synonyms

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

only 345

Change preposition

apply

show examples

postgraduate

students

Use synonyms

Submitted by bphonporton on Wed Apr 27 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, work, students with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

162 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Graduate
Postgraduate
Full-time work
Further education
Part-time work
Unemployment
Volunteering
Traveling
Gap year
Career progression
Job market
Transition
Academic life
Professional sphere
Economic factors
Social factors
Financial crisis
Long-term impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Despite the popularity of universities, it is of the opinion that vocational training should be encouraged to help alleviate the shortage of skilled workers in the workforce. Personally, I hold a different perspective on this notion.
6.5
band
“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
There is no doubt that we live in a world where social networks are being developed more than ever. Modern forms of communication such as email and texting are increasingly popular, reducing the amount of time people spend meeting friends. This has had a negative impact on their social life. I, myself, partly agree with this idea, which will be discussed below.
4
band
Children nowadays are experiencing health issues, which were previously believed to be exclusive to adults. Obesity, a significant health problem, is widespread among young individuals. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, children are experiencing health issues, and one of them is obesity, which were previously believed to be suffered by adults. Hence, in this essay, I will discuss some reasons why this issue occurs and present some solutions to this matter.
7.5
band
Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, there has been a growing emphasis on the role of art in fostering both social and intellectual development. Some individuals argue that incorporating subjects such as painting and drawing into high school curricula is essential. I strongly believe that introducing these subjects can stimulate areas of a child’s brain that are not typically engaged by traditional academic subjects, leading to a well-rounded development of skills that are valuable both now and in the future.
7.5
band
Some people think that it is beneficial for children to play games online, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Offspring have been playing games throughout history. They have played games online since the invention of computers and mobile devices. Although internet gaming is thought by some to be advantageous for offspring, others think it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I think that multiplayer network games can bring more problems for kids compared to any advantages.

Task 1; The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to play games online, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?