IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #government #costs #universities #university #education #anyone
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Nowadays, tuition fees of
universities
Use synonyms
 are extremely expensive to be afforded by middle-class parents who wish to send their children to university for
education
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, some people believe that
government
Use synonyms
 should subsidize the
universities
Use synonyms
 for the expenses incurred by
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, so that
universities
Use synonyms
 may offer free
education
Use synonyms
 to anyone. I,
however
Linking Words
, disagree with the view. Being rational, I believe that choosing the view will give birth to certain difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as an
increase
Use synonyms
 in taxes,
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of
universities
Use synonyms
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 resources, and
Use synonyms
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
 rate.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Government
Use synonyms
 expenditures will significantly
increase
Use synonyms
 if it starts providing financial grants to
universities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will cause a deficit to the
Government
Use synonyms
’s budget, and to overcome it, the
Government
Use synonyms
 will
increase
Use synonyms
 taxes which, effectively, will become a direct cost to the general public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Government
Use synonyms
 may
also
Linking Words
 reduce its spending on public development projects which will affect
public’s
Correct article usage
the public’s
show examples
 living standard.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
universities
Use synonyms
’
education
Use synonyms
 is made available to
everyone
Use synonyms
 for free,
then
Linking Words
everyone
Use synonyms
, who
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 eligible, will try to get
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
universities
Use synonyms
 which will eventually lead to scarce of
universities
Use synonyms
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 resources. Presently,
universities
Use synonyms
 are not prepared to absorb the impact of a sudden
increase
Use synonyms
 in the number of admissions.
Last
Linking Words
 but not the least, making
universities
Use synonyms
’
education
Use synonyms
 available to
everyone
Use synonyms
 will escalate the unemployment rate. The number of graduates from
universities
Use synonyms
 will considerably
increase
Use synonyms
 due to free
education
Use synonyms
. Since, graduates from
universities
Use synonyms
 demand jobs specific to their field,
such
Linking Words
 as marketing, finance, management, etc.
therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will result in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 shortage of manpower for inferior jobs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
surplus
Correct article usage
a surplus
show examples
 of manpower in other field jobs.
Education
Use synonyms
 has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great importance in today’s world, and I believe obtaining an
education
Use synonyms
 is
everyone
Use synonyms
’s right, but one should struggle to achieve it,
instead
Linking Words
 of relying on the
government
Use synonyms
. Making
education
Use synonyms
 free to
everyone
Use synonyms
 will create a good impression
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
Linking Words
 sight,
however
Linking Words
, the aftermath of the decision will be dreadful.
Thus
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that
government
Use synonyms
 should not bear the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jihansyahidah2018 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • equitable education system
  • social mobility
  • talented individuals
  • higher education
  • prioritize
  • sustainable
  • alternative sources of funding
  • partnerships with businesses
What to do next:
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