IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients
Exercise
 is
one
 of the most prominent factors for a healthy life for any age group.
Regular
Add an article
The regular
show examples
 basic
exercise
 is always recommended by doctors for elder
people
 but they hardly ever follow the advice. In the below essay, I will discuss the following statement. As we know a good healthy life can be achieved by proper diet and regular
exercise
. Especially if you are a senior citizen
then
 it is a must but for ,them regular
exercise
 may not be possible as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the elder
people
 have diabetes, sugar or any other form of health issues.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 older
people
 are lazy enough to walk because even if their mind supports their bodies would struggle to keep up.
This
 is
one
 of the common problems seen and they may not have the desire to regularly
exercise
.
On the other hand
, we have seen older
people
 engaging in physical activities
such
 as early morning walks, later evening walks, indulging themself with kids in a park or practising yoga. These elder
people
 were always motivated to do basic
exercise
 at least 3 times a week. For the non-motivated older
people
one
 way to keep them motivated is mixing them with similar age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 where they can talk and
exercise
 among themself.
For Instance
: In these contemporary
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
 it is very common to see communities arranging clubs for different age groups
such
 as walking clubs and laughing clubs for elders. To sum it up,
exercise
 is
one
 of the important factors to lead a good life
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for older
people
.
Although
 they may not keep up doing it on a regular basis but motivating them to a simple yet effective regime is a good way to maintain fitness.
Submitted by VISH on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: