IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients
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Exercise
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 is
one
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 of the most prominent factors for a healthy life for any age group.
Regular
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The regular
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 basic
exercise
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 is always recommended by doctors for elder
people
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 but they hardly ever follow the advice. In the below essay, I will discuss the following statement. As we know a good healthy life can be achieved by proper diet and regular
exercise
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. Especially if you are a senior citizen
then
Linking Words
 it is a must but for ,them regular
exercise
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 may not be possible as most
of
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apply
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the elder
people
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 have diabetes, sugar or any other form of health issues.
In addition
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to
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apply
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 older
people
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 are lazy enough to walk because even if their mind supports their bodies would struggle to keep up.
This
Linking Words
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the common problems seen and they may not have the desire to regularly
exercise
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have seen older
people
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 engaging in physical activities
such
Linking Words
 as early morning walks, later evening walks, indulging themself with kids in a park or practising yoga. These elder
people
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 were always motivated to do basic
exercise
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 at least 3 times a week. For the non-motivated older
people
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one
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 way to keep them motivated is mixing them with similar age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 where they can talk and
exercise
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 among themself.
For Instance
Linking Words
: In these contemporary
times
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,times
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 it is very common to see communities arranging clubs for different age groups
such
Linking Words
 as walking clubs and laughing clubs for elders. To sum it up,
exercise
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 is
one
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 of the important factors to lead a good life
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for older
people
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.
Although
Linking Words
 they may not keep up doing it on a regular basis but motivating them to a simple yet effective regime is a good way to maintain fitness.
Submitted by VISH on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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