A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research

Some Individuals believe that

animals

should be treated in the same way humans are and have similar rights,

whereas

others think that it is more significant to use them as we desire for food and medical research. In

this

essay, I will Interpret both views and give my opinion.

To begin

with, with regard to the exploitation of

animals

, people believe it is acceptable for several reasons.

Firstly

, they think that families are the most important beings on the planet, and everything must be done to ensure human survival. If

this

means experimenting on

animals

so that we can fight and find cures for diseases,

then

this

takes priority over animal suffering.

Furthermore

, it is believed by some that

animals

do not feel pain or loss as crowds do, so if we have to kill

animals

for cuisine or other uses,

then

this

is morally acceptable.

On the other hand

, I do not believe these arguments stand up to scrutiny. The first reason is that it has been shown on numerous occasions by secret filming in laboratories via animal rights groups that

animals

feel as much pain as communities do, and they suffer when they are kept in cages for long periods. Not only

this

, a substantial amount of animal research is done for cosmetics, not to find treatments for diseases, so

this

is unnecessary.

Finally

, it has

also

been proven that populations can get all the nutrients and vitamins that they require from green vegetables and fruit.

Therefore

, again, having to kill

animals

for feed is not an adequate argument.

To sum up

although

some folks argue killing

animals

for research and food is ethical, I would argue there is sufficient evidence to demonstrate that

this

is not the case, and,

therefore

, steps must be taken to improve the rights of

animals

Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on Tue May 14 2024

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task achievement

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to achieve an even higher score, consider fleshing out your ideas with more specific examples and elaborating on each point further. This will make your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

While the essay maintains a logical flow, some sentences could be clearer. For instance, terms like 'families' and 'crowds' should be replaced with 'humans' and 'people' respectively to maintain precision and avoid confusion. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures to improve fluidity.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear and well-organized structure, which makes it easy to follow. The introduction succinctly outlines the issues, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the issue. This approach demonstrates a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

supported main points

The main points are well-supported, especially in the paragraphs where you argue against animal exploitation. The references to secret filming and alternative sources of nutrients add depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Animal welfare
Ethical treatment
Vegetarianism
Veganism
Cognitive dissonance
Humane
Live stock
Cruelty-free
Bioethics
Conservation
Habitat preservation
Ecosystem
Biodiversity
Animal testing
Synthetic biology
Genetic engineering
Speciesism
Animal husbandry
Sustainable farming

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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their choosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what is your opinion, should be done about it?

Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively.

Many government think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, hoever, think that others types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion