A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research

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Some Individuals believe that

animals

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should be treated in the same way humans are and have similar rights,

whereas

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others think that it is more significant to use them as we desire for food and medical research. In

this

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essay, I will Interpret both views and give my opinion.

To begin

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with, with regard to the exploitation of

animals

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, people believe it is acceptable for several reasons.

Firstly

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, they think that families are the most important beings on the planet, and everything must be done to ensure human survival. If

this

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means experimenting on

animals

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so that we can fight and find cures for diseases,

then

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this

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takes priority over animal suffering.

Furthermore

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, it is believed by some that

animals

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do not feel pain or loss as crowds do, so if we have to kill

animals

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for cuisine or other uses,

then

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this

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is morally acceptable.

On the other hand

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, I do not believe these arguments stand up to scrutiny. The first reason is that it has been shown on numerous occasions by secret filming in laboratories via animal rights groups that

animals

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feel as much pain as communities do, and they suffer when they are kept in cages for long periods. Not only

this

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, a substantial amount of animal research is done for cosmetics, not to find treatments for diseases, so

this

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is unnecessary.

Finally

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, it has

also

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been proven that populations can get all the nutrients and vitamins that they require from green vegetables and fruit.

Therefore

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, again, having to kill

animals

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for feed is not an adequate argument.

To sum up

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although

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some folks argue killing

animals

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for research and food is ethical, I would argue there is sufficient evidence to demonstrate that

this

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is not the case, and,

therefore

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, steps must be taken to improve the rights of

animals

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Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on Tue May 14 2024

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task achievement

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to achieve an even higher score, consider fleshing out your ideas with more specific examples and elaborating on each point further. This will make your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

While the essay maintains a logical flow, some sentences could be clearer. For instance, terms like 'families' and 'crowds' should be replaced with 'humans' and 'people' respectively to maintain precision and avoid confusion. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures to improve fluidity.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear and well-organized structure, which makes it easy to follow. The introduction succinctly outlines the issues, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the issue. This approach demonstrates a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

supported main points

The main points are well-supported, especially in the paragraphs where you argue against animal exploitation. The references to secret filming and alternative sources of nutrients add depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Animal welfare
Ethical treatment
Vegetarianism
Veganism
Cognitive dissonance
Humane
Live stock
Cruelty-free
Bioethics
Conservation
Habitat preservation
Ecosystem
Biodiversity
Animal testing
Synthetic biology
Genetic engineering
Speciesism
Animal husbandry
Sustainable farming

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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

IELTS The rise of social media influencers has changed the landscape of advertising and marketing. Do the advantages of influencer marketing outweigh the disadvantages?

The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that it is necessary for economic growth, while others claim that it damages local industries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?