You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
this
modern era of globalization, some argue that
both
parents
going out for work is a necessity. Others say that adolescents may receive inadequate support
due to
the absence of their
parents
.
This
essay will present
both
sides of the spectrum and provide relevant examples to
this
statement. On one hand, it is undeniable that having
both
the
mother
and father working would benefit the
children
in numerous ways. The youngsters may be able to receive a better education and healthcare, which in turn develop their
overall
well-being.
For instance
, recent studies have shown that rich families have kids who are much smarter and healthier than those who come from poorer families. Specifically, a famous YouTuber in Vietnam, Chao, who is commonly known for her wealthy background, is very talented and good-looking.
This
is because
both
her
parents
are capable of investing in their daughter's academics, appearance, and health.
On the other hand
, youngsters would
also
receive merits for having a parent to stay home
taking
Change the verb form
to take
show examples
care of them. Receiving sufficient love and care from a
mother
or father
while
the other is away from home would significantly improve the
children
's mentality and emotional intelligence. Numerous surveys have been done regarding
this
topic matter and it was found that kids who acquired adequate parent's presence usually have higher achievements in the future. As an illustration, Khanh Vy came from a family where she received much care from her
mother
since she was young. Later in the future, Vy became very successful in her career and studies.
Moreover
, she was well-loved by her colleagues and she has an amazing relationship with her family. Even though Vy didn't come from a prosperous home where
both
of her
parents
were diligently working to provide her with a dream life, she still managed to get uncountable awards
as well as
opportunities to exceed her expectations in life.
To conclude
, whether or not
both
parents
are working, the
children
will still be advantageous in different ways. In my range of understanding and knowledge, I believe it is crucial that
both
the
mother
and father balance between work and spending valuable time with their
children
.
Submitted by truongmaihanh on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and distinct; they should effectively set out the essay's topic and wrap up its main points respectively.
logical structure
Develop a strong logical structure throughout your essay by making certain each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
supported main points
Enhance your main points by providing more depth and detail within your arguments to fully support your claims.
complete response
You have shown an understanding of the task and provided a response that addresses all parts. However, ensure consistency in the depth and development of your main ideas throughout your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have shown some clear, comprehensive ideas but should aim for more complexity in your argumentation. Strive for a balanced examination of both views throughout.
relevant specific examples
Your use of examples is relevant, but including more specific evidence or data could make your argumentation stronger. This would provide a more persuasive essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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