Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #research #focus #world #health

With the advancement of modern technologies

nowadays

Rephrase

apply

show examples

people

have debated whether scientific studies must aim at finding cures for diseases rather than other areas of concern.

This

essay will discuss either side and

then

explain why I prefer for

research

to give equal importance to all the

issues

that matter in our society. To start with,

people

are suggesting that more thorough

research

should be

spent

Verb problem

done

show examples

to deal with the deteriorating

health

of our society. They are concerned that more and more

people

are becoming sick

thus

, focused

research

must be implemented to have answers to the

health

problems that our communities are facing nowadays. One good example is the current pandemic. To

further

elaborate, it has been 2 years since

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

COVID 19

Add a hyphen

COVID-19

show examples

started and yet, there are still

people

who die because of the virus. Vaccines may have been invented but it does not necessarily free us from the detrimental effects of

this

phenomenon.

On the other hand

, some are debating that other

issues

like economic stability, public safety and the

likes

Fix the agreement mistake

show examples

are equally vital to the

health

issues

that need to be focused on. They believe that being healthy will not be enough to survive

thus

giving importance to sustainable living and being safe is a must.

In particular

, having peace of mind, of not worrying about

day to day

Add a hyphen

day-to-day

show examples

life will give

also

Correct pronoun usage

one a

show examples

healthy life

thus

life's function should come as equally important. In conclusion, as others may point out that

health

issues

should be focused on

research

, I believe other society's functions should

also

be given equal importance.

Submitted by clezurnna on Thu Apr 28 2022

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task response

The essay provides a relevant response to the task but lacks thorough development of ideas. It is important to elaborate more on each view before presenting a balanced opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is clear, with a well-presented introduction and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more logically organized to improve coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that it is good for a country 's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.