It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. Do you agree or disagree?

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Since ancient
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment has been one of the most important
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
of human
life
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. Even today,
this
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issue is still playing
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role in human
life
Use synonyms
. Some
people
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consider that it is better to be unemployed than to be employed if they don't enjoy their
work
Use synonyms
. I totally
argee
Correct your spelling
agree
with those
people
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.
First
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of all, doing unliked
work
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is one kind of punishment for the
people
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.
Therefore
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, it is so stressful for
people
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's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
, spirituality and body.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will be ineffective and unsuccessful in the short and
long run
Add a hyphen
long-run
show examples
when
people
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don't like their
work
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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should be happy with their
work
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in order to reach their goals and
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
becides
Correct your spelling
besides
earn the money and make their lives.
Furthermore
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, some research
show
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shows
show examples
that if
people
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love and like their
work
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,
the
Change the word
their
show examples
productivity of
work
Use synonyms
will be improved and
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
show examples
level of
people
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will be increased. As well as,
people
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spend most of their time and consume most of their energy
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
work
Use synonyms
.
Beacuse
Correct your spelling
Because
of that,
people
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are getting upset and
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
deeply when they are not enjoying their
work
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. In conclusion,
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
purpose of human
life
Use synonyms
is
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
happily
Replace the word
happy
show examples
and
enjoyfull
Correct your spelling
enjoy full
. So. if
people
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don't enjoy their
work
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they can change it
,
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apply
show examples
if there is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
possible
Replace the word
possibility
show examples
to change their job it is better to stay at their home. Because
,
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apply
show examples
there are a lot of good
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
and
opporunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
in our
life
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
is beautiful and
wonderfull
Correct your spelling
wonderful
wonderfully
.
Submitted by e_ingad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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