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Writing Samples
Band 5

Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What solutions can you suggest?

#families #parents #children #time #reason
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The quality and quantity of
time
 that
parents
 used to spend with their
children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 considerably reduced as families have become more modern and both
parents
 have started to
work
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
 growing problem and explore possible solutions.
Firstly
, I will discuss the financial reasons for
this
 growing problem.
Secondly
, I will consider how globalisation may
also
 be a reason for
parents
 spending less
time
 with their
children
.
To begin
 with, it’s clear that the cost of childcare is extremely expensive for almost all
parents
 who need someone to look after their
children
. People who live in large cities have more options for nurseries than elsewhere, but the prices are still not affordable. A possible solution to
this
 problem could be to have government subsidised and discounted childcare available to all
parents
, possibly under a certain yearly salary. By doing
this
,
parents
 will be able to
work
 only one job with normal hours,
therefore
 spending more
time
 with their
children
. Another reason
parents
 and
children
 are spending less
time
 together could be due to the low cost and easily available transport now open. Many adults are travelling more, often for
work
 commitments. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 they are unable to spend a lot of
time
 with their
children
, or simply prefer to holiday. Especially for
work
, employers should consider
this
 when asking
parents
 to travel for their jobs. It would enable families to spend more quality
time
 together. With both
parents
 in the family having
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 jobs, their
time
 with their
children
 is compromised leading to
adverse
Correct article usage
an adverse
show examples
 impact on the
children
. It is important that the
parents
 find a balance between earning money and spending quality
time
 with their
children
 for their overall development.
Submitted by ruslanabbosovich on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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