IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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There are various facilities in the supermarket for
the
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sellers around the world.
Although
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 there will be problems with the quality of items, I firmly believe it will be the best chance for cultural exchange.
To begin
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 with, consumers have access to a wide range of food
products
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 from different countries and regions, allowing them to explore diverse cuisines and flavours,
moreover
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, more of them provide year-round access to fruits vegetables and other fresh goods.
For example
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, Australia exports approximately 70% of its food
products
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 to other countries, and
according to
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 statistical data,
this
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 contributes significantly to the country's high income.
In addition
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, it will be a benefit for the selling of global required items in their income.
However
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, selling various foods from different cultures promotes cultural exchange and understanding among shoppers,being in the sphere of international items and giving convenience for buyers purchasing desired culinary goods under one roof.
On the other hand
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, it will diminish support for local farmers in traditional meals, increasing the risk of cultural and culinary diversity.
Furthermore
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, there will be many problems with imported
products
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, especially with their quality and safety standards.
As a result
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,
this
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 leads to potential health risks for consumers.
Nevertheless
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, it will considerably react to the farmers' harvest and income.
For instance
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, "In Brazil, the widespread importation of canned fish from overseas has led to an increase in cases of botulism among consumers. Approximately 80% of people in the rural were reported because of food poisoning. In conclusion,
while
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 there are countless opportunities in the supermarket for shoppers, I believe it is important to keep the balance between purchasing and consuming overseas
products
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 every time .

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task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument more explicitly. While the essay mentions both positive and negative aspects, the negative points need more depth and examples to balance the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas. Some of the points appear disjointed and should be better linked through clearer transitions.
task achievement
Ensure that examples provided are directly relevant and clearly illustrate the point being made. This will help in better supporting your main points.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that may hinder clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and directly address the question.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents clear, logical points and attempts to balance multiple perspectives.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the one about Australia and Brazil, enhances the overall discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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